How To Make A Hit Bollywood Movie....

this post is solely for all budding Bollywood actors....
please skip this post if your not an aspiring bollywood actor.... (even if you're an aspiring actor in any other film industry....)
k... here goes....
the first thing you need to do is shave your chest...
there shouldn't be a single strand of hair on your chest...
tone your abs... slight signs of a six-pack will also do.... but please don't make yourself look like Triple H!!!....
tone your thighs too.... (as showing your thighs in the movie might up your popularity rating...)
make sure your dad is an established director/producer/retired actor....
if your dad isn't one of these, get him to compulsorily produce a movie before you make your debut...
once all this is set, you're ready for your first flop movie!!!...
always remember that your first movie is never gonna be a hit....
if it does turn out to be a hit, then you are a genius!!!!.... and Bollywood's definitely not the place you're supposed to be in!!!...
once you're done with the flop movie, it is time for the ultimate hookup....
ask an established actress out.... considering the fact that you have the ultimate abs, thighs and dad, this shouldn't be much of a problem....
be seen in public places with her....
go to discotheques, clubs, matches with her....
always walk around with your arms around her...
one or two slight pecks on her lips once in a while (when you are in a club preferrably) should do... but please don't overdo it...
by this time, you would have created a huge media hype....
make it bigger by denying any relationship with the actress by saying "we're just good friends"....
that should do....
there'd be scores of female presenters on television, who'd be more than happy to talk about your relationship with the actress on some crap gossip show....
so... by now your popularity level would have risen up considerably....
now is the time for your ultimate hit movie....
beg some director who has made recent movies which did considerably well at the box office....
use you're dad's influence if needed....
once he agrees to cast you, beg him to cast your girlfriend as you're heroine....
once he obliges, you are ready to go....
create a more macho image for your character this time in the movie....
avoid showing too much skin this time round.... let your girl do that part....
once you are done with the shooting, then comes the important part... the release of the movie...
attend as many interviews as possible....
but please be careful... act as uninterested as possible.... don't beg the viewers to watch the movie...
if the media asks you about your pairing up with your girlfriend, just act shy, blush and say "no comments".... please don't say "we're just friends" this time!!!!....
off the record, make it clear to the media that this is your resurrection movie and that you are here to stay....
CONGRATS!!!!.... here's your first hit movie!!!!.... but wait!!!!.... it's not yet time to celebrate.... your not a Bollywood Superstar yet!!!!....
once your done with the movie, and all the hype has come down, start accepting offers for endorsements....
please only accept offers that make you look like a macho man.... don't accept offers for fairness creams, or any other ads that might make you look like a fool....
do two to three movies more.... and please don't cast your girl as the heroine in these movies....
its fine even if they don't do very well at the box office...
meanwhile attend as many charity functions as possible...
donate some of your dad's money if possible...
always remember to be seen only with your girl....
never take your mom or dad out with you!!!....
once your done with all this, now comes the time for your ultimate movie....
this is the movie that's gonna shoot yourself up into stardom....
if this movie doesn't do it for you, then its time for you to leave Bollywood....
before you do this movie, make friends with another actress....
be seen with her in public places once in a while.... don't make it too often....
and please don't kiss her in public...
start having a rough time with your old girlfriend....
go to some award function or any other function (that involves seating in an orderly manner) n sit atleast five rows away from your old girlfriend...
make sure that your new girlfriend is also present at the function... but don't let her sit with you...
during the function, avoid your old girlfriend as much as possible, but chat up with your new one whenever possible...
now, you have created enough hype for your ultimate hit movie...
start shooting for the movie.... before you start, make sure that your old girlfriend is cast as your heroine....
if your confidence levels are not that high, then get an established actor to also act in the movie as your father, or your best friend....
please act well.... give it a good shot....
once your done, create a hype by saying that this was the last movie you and your girl acted while you were together....

that's it!!!!!.... you're done!!!!.... you're a SUPERSTAR now!!!!.... congrats!!!....
oh!!!!.... before i forget!!!!....
my account number is 2445600100.... and i charge $500 for the class....

the KKK....

KKK....
also known as Ku Klux Klan...
i've always been fascinated by this group (although i knew nothing about them)!!!...
the first time i heard about them was when i was in school....
now back in school, i was the very curious type....
so immediately i logged on and searched for them on the net....
their description was a bit too long, so i only took a look at their pictures....



...and came to the conclusion that they were a bunch of ghosts....
that was what i thought till recently i happened to see a feature of them in FHM...
again the description wasn't too helpful....
and then!!!.... i recently saw them in "Harold n Kumar escape from Guantanamo Bay"....
this movie gave me a clear idea about the group...
now i know that the KKK is nothing but a bunch of brainless lunatics.... :D

What If There Were No More Muvies?????

the rate at which movies are being made these days, it almost looks like we don't have many more decades of the cinema to come....
what if there comes a time when all movie makers have tried out all themes and have run out of ideas???....
what would these people do then???...
people would get sick of remakes....

there are two possible things the movie fraternity could do....
one would be to start shows similar to "Next Action Superstar".... only difference being that the people, instead of acting out scenes, would have to write scripts....
maybe they could name the show "Next Sensational Storyteller"....

the second thing that could be done is to form a body known as the International Movie Council (of course... the headquarters would be in Dubai, as is the trend these days!!!)....
the members of this body would constitute all the top notch directors from Hollywood, Bollywood, Tollywood, Xollywood, Zollywood etc etc....
at the beginning of every calendar year, these guys would get together and come up with a total of 50 or so scripts....
and then there would be bidding for each script....
the highest bidders individually from each 'Wood', would be allowed to make a film based on the script in his own respective language....
this way, viewers who watch Hollywood movies, but don't understand a word of it and don't find subtitles too helpful either, can always wait for the film to be released in their own language!!!....
and in this way, all the film industries would have 50 films released in a year....

Based on my conclusions, i expect the world to run out of movies by around 2025....
if i'm not around by then, i hope some actor/director/producer would be reading this blog n making use of my brilliant idea....

Time For Slow Food??????

after moving to india, my life has taken to a lot of changes, for the worse most of the time....
along with being uninteresting, another major change that took place was my change in food habits...
the ever-lovable 'ghar ka khana' had suddenly vanished out of my life....
it was suddenly the invasion of the fast food era for me....
honestly speaking, i love eating out rather than sitting at home over a silent dinner....
but eating out everyday was not exactly the thing i loved....
for the past 3 n a half years that i spent in india, it has been eat-out every single day for me...
the good thing about fast food is that it is fast (of course!) , it doesnt taste healthy! (the rule is healthy food never tastes good) n there are no particular ethics for the way you eat it....
so this was how it was till a few weeks back, when a friend of mine took me to a restaurant for a multipurpose treat (multipurpose because it was his birthday, he'd got a job, he'd got his first pay and he was hitting on a chick from work)....
now... the thing about this place is that as you enter the place itself, the fact that it is a very very formal place hits you right on the face, and it was the kinda place wherein if you let out a very feeble cough just enough to clear your throat and just enough for the person, sitting next to you at your table, to vaguely hear it, the entire restaurant would be frowning and giving you ugly stares!!!...
so God help you, if you happened to sneeze in this place!!!!...
all this din't seem to bother me much...
then the starters arrived....
'Ah!!!.. Beautiful!!!...'....
i dug my fork into the first piece of chicken....
good! so far so good!....
few pieces later, i confidently dug my fork into the next piece....
ZZHOOOOOP!!!!!.....
the piece goes flying out of the plate and lands on the table....
without looking up, i immediately grabbed a piece of tissue and threw it over the fallen piece....
hoping that no one had noticed, i looked up....
DAIM!!!... all four of my friends who were at my table were giving me the frown and the ugly stares....
it was friggin' embarrassing!!!....
i suddenly started feeling hot down my back, and i started blushing!
now i hate it when i blush... it's because i'm a little dark....
so when i blush, instead of turning into the normal red colour, i turn into a very dark maroon colour, which is very horrible to look at....
however, the remaining lunch went uneventful, atleast on my part....
but it was this day that opened my eyes....
i realised that i'm having too much fast food....
perhaps it was time to slow down!!!....
i'd lost the art of going to expensive restaurants, waiting for 30mins for the food to arrive, open a bottle of wine, have a healthy conversation and so on....
i wasn't even man enough to stand up to the challenge of having a formal dinner!!!....
all i can hope now is that my parents don't invite me to a formal dinner before i remaster the art!!!!....
i cant stand to see the stares my mom might give me if i drop a piece of chicken!!!...
and Godddd!!!!... she'll scream when she sees the ugly maroon colour i turn into when i blush!!!!....

It's Diwaliiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!........

bah.... i hate diwali....
such a noisy festival....
i used to enjoy diwali much more when i was back in Muscat!!!!.... 'cos no idiot was allowed to burst crackers!!!!....
ah crackers..... i just hate them!!!!....
why do people spend so much money on all this shit just to burst them all off??!!!!....
my entire building tenants are down there bursting off their money...
crap!!!... there's my mom and sis too!!!!....
what's with these people???!!!!.....

IMB

OFFICIAL NAME : ISM Malabari Brotherhood

FORMED IN : Late Summer 2006

MEMBERS : Abhishek Anand (Ramachandra Medical College)
Thekkedath Ajo Jacob (Madha Engineering College)
Kalady Nandagopal Prathap (Loyola College)
Peter Davis (Loyola College)
Randeep Joseph Roy (Sathyabama University)

PRIMARY OBJECTIVES : 1> To achieve the perfect way of life
2> To find the ultimate girl (also known as "charak")

DESCRIPTION :
After spending a year in college, RJ (formerly known as RJR) had lost hope in most of his college friends and set out in search of his old school friends in the same city. Realising that finding friends would be impossible without the help of the internet, he used Orkut as the ultimate friend-finding tool. That was when he hit upon Nandu (formerly known as Nandagopal). Within a few weeks time, RJ met up with the remaining members of the IMB.

These youngsters soon came to realise that they shared similar problems such as problematic roomies (Ajo's!!!!), being surrounded by "backstabbing" friends, lack of good food, lack of funds etc... This inspired the five to be best friends.

But it was not until late summer of 2006, that the group decided it was time for the inevitable... the formation of the IMB.

Once the IMB was formed, Chennai saw a new light dawning on the city. The face of Chennai would never be the same again. IMB was here to take the city by storm. There was no looking back for the five young men. Weekend was the time the IMB usually came together for action. There would be aimless wandering around the city's premiere shopping mall, Spencer Plaza. This mall soon became a second home for the members. Then there was the occasional movie (which usually crashed at the box office) and the night-time crash at RJ's place for "refreshments".

Inspite of all these activities, the primary objective of the IMB was 'charak-hunting'. Soon the motto of the group became "Enjoy life!... when ur broke, depend on Nandu".

Nandu, being the HOD of the charak-hunting department, soon became the official financier of the IMB when funds were alarmingly low.

After more than 18 months of vigorous acivity, the time came for one of the members to split from the group. This happened when Peter had to move out of the city.

Inspite of the split, the remaining four members continued to meetup until late October, when a second member had to move out of the city.

Even though the IMB no longer remains as active as it was in its initial days, the members still resolve to be united and continue to be a source of inspiration for the hopes and dreams of the millions who look up to the IMB.

OFFICIAL PHOTOGRAPH:

My Secret Family

there was this one time when i had to actually tell my dad a secret!!!!....
few months back, i got totally broke.... i hate telling my mom when i'm broke, because at first she gets worried, then she gets pissed, and then she lets me have a piece of her mind.....
so i decided to skip telling my mom and tell my dad instead...
i call him up from chennai and tell him.... and i also tell him to keep it top secret and not to tell ma....
good ol' dad hangs up on me, and within the next minute, calls up my mom...
he tells my mom my little secret.... and he also tells her to keep it secret that he'd told her the secret....
my mom hangs up on my dad, and within the next minute, she calls me up.... and tells me that she knows about my secret....
and she also asks me to keep it secret that she'd told me about the secret which dad'd told her....
i hang up on my mom, and within the next minute, i call up my dad.... and i tell him that ma had told me about the secret that he'd told her about my secret.... and i asked my dad to keep it secret that i'd told him that ma had tol me about his secret that he'd told her about my secret.....
i don't know whether dad called up ma and told her about the secret again or whether he finally decided that there were a little too many secrets running around in the family!!!!....

MORAL OF THE STORY
1> the top secret wasn't any secret any more...
2> my dad can't be trusted with secrets...
3> my mom can't be trusted with secrets...
4> and neither can i be trusted with secrets!!!

Are You Dumber Than A 5th Grader To Watch This Show?????

what's with these TV shows these days????????... talk about "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader"...
and talk about smart Indians!!!... they create an indian version of the same screwed up show, and if that wern't enough, they cast a star, who hosted one of India's 'supposed-to-be-best' gameshow and turned it into a 'never-wanna-be-seen-again' gameshow, as the damn host!!!!
i've not bothered to watch the indian version, so i don't know much about it....
talking about the American original....
sheeeeesh!!!!!....
i can bet that if i ask 5 American kids what anthropoids are, maybe 1 kid out of the 5 might know the answer!....
and these guys on the show think it is 3rd grade biology!!!...
whoever said that the Indian system of education is totally complex and involves a lot of 'by-hearting', was a real loser!!!... because in the American system, kids of the 4th grade are supposed to memorise the names of all the 45 (or so) American Presidents in chronological order as a part of their 4th grade history!!!... now beat that!!!!....
i bet 85% of the Graduates in India don't know the names of all the Indian Presidents in chrono order!!!!... ( i don't know for one!)...
another part i hate in the show are the damn hyper-active kids...
there are these fat good-for-nothing female contestants who come on stage, and on seeing these hyper-active kids, get equally hyper and start jumping n dancing!....
worst part about all this is, more and more such kind of game shows keep coming up by the day....
sometimes i realy wish there was somethin like an Anti Nonsense-Gameshows Committee, where we can voice our hate for these shows!!!....

The Moment Of Embarrassment

nahhhh.... i'm not going to talk about some embarrassing moment that i had in my life... (duh! i got better things to do!)
instead i'm going to talk about the gameshow "THE MOMENT OF TRUTH"....

it was one of those rare times when my mom had actually left the TV free and i was lucky enough to get hold of the remote...
so there i was.... joblessly flipping through the channels...
that was when i hit upon something really flashy and interesting on star world...
it was a new gameshow whose advert had really caught my attention....
the name of the show was "THE MOMENT OF TRUTH"....
it wasn't until i watched my first episode that i found my fascination for the show melt down almost instantaneously....
it's a show in which a host (who presents the whole thing like as if he were asking the questions while he was being held at gunpoint!) asks a whole series of totally personal questions and the contestant is connected to a lie detector.... one lie and the contestant loses millions... and he has to do it in front of a huge crowd that includes his/her family in the front row!!!... so, with each truth he keeps losing the respect of his family members...
a more apt name for the show would have been "EMBARRASS ME IN PUBLIC"!!!!....
anyways... based on what i've seen on the show so far, i've conducted a survey and these are some of my findings....
->79% of the American men population has slept with more than 100 women before they were 24
->83% of American population think their dad is an embarrassment to them
->81.29% of American men population and 91.29% of American women population are not happily married
->84.5% of American men population are not currently dating the hottest chick they've ever dated
->66% of American men population got paid for sex when they were in college


GET A LIFE AMERICANS!!!!.... (don't give us poor Indians any competition for the top spot in the loser ratings!!!)

THE TRIP TO PURG- part V

........'i ain't dead! i ain't dead! i ain't dead!'
'This is a miracle!!!! we've got him back!!!', i heard someone say...
i open my eyes and look around....
i'm lying on a stretcher next to my apartment building...
and around the bed is a team of paramedics....
i see some of my neighbours around me...
i'd just survived a fall from a 32-storey building!!!!...
'You were lucky you fell into the heap of garbage bags!!... but you've got a fractured leg and a broken shoulder Mister!... keep a check on the drinks the next time!', the doctor told me smiling....


MORAL OF THE STORY: never drink n fly...

THE TRIP TO PURG- part IV

R: how tha heck did you land up here???
V: this is where dead people end up man....
R: what's with this 'dead people' thing man???.... i ain't dead!!!!....
V: that's what everyone here thinks when they first come here... don't worry... you'll get used to this place... by the way, d'ya recognise her??? (and he points to a woman behind him)
R: Gina!! of course!!!.... who else but Gina!!!...
V: see??... i told you we'd be together foreva!!!
R: lucky you man!!...
V: so... what does it feel like to be dead???..
R: i ain't friggin' dead man... why can't you get that into your thick head???...
V: you are dead man.... stop being a kid!!!...
R: i ain't dead!.. i ain't dead!.. i ain't dead.. i ain't....................

THE TRIP TO PURG- part III

**********
**********

Vic had been my roomie for more than 6yrs... the perfect roomie....
life had been just too good back then... the weekend booze... the frequent disco visits... the occasional marijuana smoke-ups...
over the years Vic had come to know me better than anyone else...
everything was perfect... except for one person... Gina... Vic's gurl...

a week before the fateful day, Vic and me were at our place making plans for a roadtrip to Mumbai...
a three-day drive...
everything had been perfectly planned out...
we were going to have the time of our lives...
just as we were done with the planning out, Vic's fone rang...
V: it's gina...
R: (irritated)

15mins later Vic comes in...

V: she's also coming along...
R: WHATTTT???!!!.... what tha heck is wrong with you???!!!!... you out of your mind???....
V: dude... c'mon man... what's tha big deal???... why d'ya hate her so much???...
R: it's not just her man... i hate all women... all they do is dig a hole in your pocket, and when the hole is big enough, they ditch you for another guy... just like mine did 5yrs back... women are nothing but bad luck...
V: dude... all gurls are not the same man... gina and me are meant to be together foreva....
R: wadeva man... i'm calling off tha whole friggin' thing... the two of you can go wherever tha hell you want...

we din't talk till next day evening... after the day at work, it hit me again that i really needed a change... screw it, i thought, let him bring her... so long as she doesn't bother me... i went home, confronted with Vic and the dream roadtrip was back on.... with that bitch coming along...

weekend arrived... early morning, Vic fished out one of the many Vodka bottles we were supposed to take along... 'We're not leaving till we're out of our senses!!!', he said with a beaming smile...
in an hour, we hit the road...
we went to Gina's place to pick her up...
at her place, we had to wait for ten whole minutes for her to get her ass out of her house and into the car...
and then... she appeared!!!..
'God!!!... she's hot...', i thought to myself...
but i still hated her... all women were meant to be hated....
i started hating women ever since my girlfriend of two years walked out on me for another jerk she found online...
'Hey RJ', Gina's voice brought me back to reality...
'Hi', i said with disinterest...
the drive did turn out to be fun... Gina wasn't that bad after all... we kept drinking and driving...

we had driven for more than a day by then... Vic and me were totally sloshed... and that is when i had to hand over the wheel to Gina... i hate it when anyone else other than me drives my car... and now, it was someone i hated a lot, behind the wheel.... 'Bah... life!!!....', i thought to myself...

it was an uphill drive... Victor was in the passenger seat, and i was slumped across the rear seat....
R: female! drive slowly... there're hairpin curves... dangerous...
V: don't worry man... Gina can drive with her eyes closed!!!...

CRASHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

after hearing a loud crash, all i remember was being rushed into a hospital by a team of paramedics... after coming to, i managed to gather some voice and asked about the other two...
'Sorry... those two weren't as lucky... they din't make it...'
a huge lump formed in my throat...
suddenly i realized i was alone in this world and the only person i knew was gone...
'I told you Vic!!!!... i told you not to bring her... THE BITCH KILLED YOU!!!!!....'

two months after Vic passed away, i had had enough of life in India...
i migrated to Perth....
i never went back to India again....

**********
**********

THE TRIP TO PURG- part II

'Ouch!!!....'
that really hurt!!!...
its getting really hot.... i open my eyes and put my hand to my head trying to feel for any bumps...
surprisingly there arn't any!!!...
'Where tha heck am i???!!!!'...... i'm in someone's house....
'Hello??? anyone here???', i call out.... no reply....
i look around the house....
its empty... there's not a single piece of furniture in the house....
and there's something weird about the house too!!.... there are no windows!!!!!!!.......
its a square room with just two doors on opposite facing walls.... strange!
i get up from the corner and walk toward one of the doors... i turn the knob and the door swings open...
a very bright light blinds me for a few seconds... then i get adjusted to it...
i see a small room with a couple in it...
the lady is in bed and is holding a baby....
both of them have their backs to me...
'Hey!', i call out... they don't seem to be listening... i look around...
looks like a hospital room to me....
the man moves away from the bed and walks towards a small table....
on the table is a small flask...
i see the man's face...
i recognise him!... it's my father!!!....
'Dad!!!', i call out... still no response...
i look at the bed.... and as i'd guessed, my mother was the lady on the bed....
i call out to her and wave at her.... again no response...
i wonder who the baby in her arms is...

suddenly, a light blinds me again...
and as i get adjusted, i see my school...
the school in which i spent my years growing up!...
i look at one side and i see myself!!!....
the young me is talking to someone...

again, out of nowhere, a light blinds me and this time i'm in front of my college...
it's graduation day...

the next thing i see is the lifeless body of Victor.... poor Victor.... he din't deserve to die....

i've had enough of this place... i get back into the room and shut the door...
i realise that i'd just seen my entire life... like as if something out of a movie....
i wonder what all this means....
i jus wanna get back home and get some sleep...
hoping to find some way out, i walk towards the other door....
i turn the knob, and it swings open in the same manner as the previous one...
outside the door is a vast field....
a field with no limits....
the place looks very pleasant... except for the dull n gloomy lightening....
it makes me feel uneasy....
there are people walking around all over the place....
i step into the field and start walking....
i take a few steps and i look back....
the house has disappeared!!!!....
'I'm stuck in here forever!!!!.... what place is this????.....'
i keep walking.... i walk for what seems eternity....

after walking for what seemed like many miles, i come face to face with a kindly looking lady.
i know her, but i just cant recollect.
after screwing my mind for a while, i suddenly remember.... my grandmother!!!!... she'd passed away when i was 4....
'Gramma!!!', i shout...
she looks at me, but doesn't recognise me...
'Gramma!!... It's me RJ!!!... it's me lil' Sonny!!!!...'
her face brightens up.....
Gramma:Sonny!!!... my lil' boy!!!... my my... look at you!!!.... what a fine young man you've become!!!....
Me: its been so long Gramma!!!
G: how's your dad doing???
i look down in shame... ever since the quarrel eight years back, my ego had never allowed me to contact or check on how my parents were doing....
i'd never heard from them after i split from my family....
G: Dont worry Sonny... i know about everything that's happened.... now your in purgatory... repent for everything you've done....
M: isn't purgatory a place where dead people go Gramma??....
G: yes of course!!!...
M: then why am i here????....
G: your dead Sonny... your time on earth is over....

those words hit me real hard... i dont believe what she said....
I'm not dead!!!!!!....
All this is just a dream... i turn away from her and continue walking...
there is no sun in this place...
all that is there is this gloomy lull...
i have no account of how many days i have been here for...
i continue walking....
in the distance i see someone waving at me...
he looks like a young man.... maybe around my age....
i walk towards him...
'RJ!!!!', he calls out...
i still dont recognise him.... i come close to him...
'RJ!!!.... Dont recognise me huh???....'
'Uhmmm.... no.... i'm sorry... but i don't exactly remember.....'
'Aite.... you got some weed on you????'
'Holy shit, Vic!!!!... Vic its you!!!!....'

THE TRIP TO PURG- part I

the year is 2020... or is it 2021???.... ah... who cares!!!....
as long as i'm enjoyin the solitude....
sitting on the roof of my 32-storey apartment building i stay in gives me an awesome view of entire Perth... i never imagined Perth to be so beautiful!!!...
i look at the time... it's quarter past two in the morning!!...
'Bah... i've been drinkin too much...', i think to myself, holding the empty bottle of Vodka in my hand...
a cool breeze blew into my face... i look up at the sky... it's filled with stars...
'Starry Starry Night'.. i start humming the Don Mclean song... (Ha!.. reminds me of mridula!...)
i start thinking about my college days... unincidental, but fun....
i always wanted to go sky diving when i was in college.... hmmm.... i wonder what its like to go sky diving...
i suddenly wish my friend Victor was with me... would have been fun... the guy was always full of ideas!!...
i walk over to the skirting of the terrace... i lean over to look how high up i am....
the bottom of the building is not even faintly visible in the darkness....
the light wind keeps blowing at my face...
i feel adventurous and feel a sudden surge of blood...
i climb up onto the skirting and stand there with my arms spread-eagled (with my clothes still on!!!... duh!)...
the booze is getting to my head now... i feel an urge to fly...
i spread my arms out and leap forward...
'Ah!.. finally!!!... so this is what sky diving is like!...'
i feel young again....

the wind is blowing much harder into my face now...
i suddenly feel some pain...
the force with which i'm falling is making my head split with pain...
my hands and legs are almost tearing apart....

'Oh God!!!... Am i gonna die?????????'.............


THUDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............

THE WALL

nahhhh.... this post is not about some damn cricketer.... nor is it about any psych rock album that puts you off to sleep...
thissssss.... is about THE WALL!!!!.... (perhaps one of the most important posts in my blog!!)
the wall is actually just an imaginary structure that is formed around a person/persons when they feel they're psychologically very much seperated from their peers/family....
i always had this wall around me... ever since i'd come off age to undastand things in life, i noticed this huge structure around me.... only thing is i din't have a definitive name for the structure until a half year back....
the first time i established my discovery with solid proof was just a few weeks back...
it was a fine weekend... at my friends' place... (i'm rarely at my place!!..)... my friends had just finished a huge dinner.... (i'm not into the habit of having huge dinners on weekends.... or on any other day of the week for that matter....)
so these asls after the dinner decide to hit the sack!!!!.... what a perfect way to enjoy the weekend night!!!....
so there!!!.... i'm wide awake and my friends are sound asleep... suddenly my pal Shankar decides it's unfair to leave me alone and gives me company...
we decided to set out on our mission... to search n download the best comedy movies with "scantily clad" chicks in them.... (oooooooh... we love comedies with SC chicks in them!!!.... :D...)
it was past 1am.... here's the convo... (i've changed the dialogues here and there, partly because i need to cut out many "unwanted" details... and partly because i don't remember the exact words!!!.... it was more than 2 months back!!!...)
SHANKAR: dude.... we're so friggin jobless man....
ME: i swear dude.... anyways... don't mind... keep searching....
SHANKAR: sigh... look at those guys.... so fast asleep....
ME: ahhh... i don't care... keep searching....
S: dude have you ever noticed how these guys are so different from us???....
M: hmmmm.... yeah... sometimes.... dude how about that movie???....
S: naaahhhh... it's only got a rating of 3.5..... must be a sucker.... (i hate it when these guys talk about imdb ratings!!!!.... at times even good movies (according to me) go unappreciated jus because the stupid people at imdb have given it a bad rating!!!)
(long silence....)
S: dude have you noticed that these 3 guys are so friggin weird???....
M: yeah... i thought you were weird too!!!... hehe... just kidding.... what makes you say so???...
S: dunno.... sometimes i see 'X' (identity concealed) sitting alone in the room with his book, studying... but whenever i walk into his room, this guy is always staring through the window at the next building's wall!!!!....
(and then he tells me weird things about the other two as well.... blah blah...)
M: dude... have you heard of 'the wall'???....
S: you mean the pink floyd album???...
M: noooooooo..... look carefully around you.... do you see a thick physical structure???.... and i'm the only guy on your side of the wall... do you notice??...
S: holy shit yeah!!!.... the wall!!!.... yeah i see it clearly!!!!.... oh my gawd!!!.... it's so huge!!!!....

hmmm.... so that was how i established the presence of the wall around me....
and shankar krishnamurthy was the only guy who could manage to cross over and get on to my side of the wall....
sigh....

I Wish....

sometimes.... no... most of the times i wish i were a junkie... the kinda guy who just sits in a corner and watches as the world passes by.... somewhat like the guy in "Jaane Tu...." the heroine's bro.... sigh... i guess i'm not in the right surroundings to become a junkie.... my mom won't allow me to rest my ass on a couch for more than 20mins continuously!!!!... it would have been so interesting if i did become one after all... no worries... nothing to think about.... maybe all i'd need in life would be a 52" LCD tv... a PS3... a good comp... a good DVD collection... a good music collection... a car (a Hummer should do...)... n lots of money.... hmmmm.... it doesn't look like a junkie's life any more!!!.... no wonder why my parents din't allow me to become a junkie after all!!!.... :p

My Own Poem!

randeep has drunk a lot n is really very high...
n now the poor guy wants to friggin' fly...
fly fly fly like a bird up into the dirty sky...
n after sometime come crashing to the ground n die!...
what a poor guy...
bye-bye...
sigh....

??????????

hey if i bcum an RJ in future, what would people call me???.... something like RJ RJ???.... that's what my friend anuj thinks!!!!.... lol!!!...

Hmmmm....

sheeeshhhh!!!!..... thank god i don't write a diary!!!!.... there's absolutely nothing happening in my life!!!!.... the whole damn diary would have been an empty book!!!!.... such an "indiscriminate waste" of paper!!!!!......

ISWK

indian school wadi kabir....
this is the place where it all started.... for me atleast....
i have no idea how i ended up starting off my education in ISWK...
was there till 3rd grade....
a place where every 3rd person u meet is a gujju....
i don't really remember anything memorable about this school....
just thought i should give it a mention....

Latched!!!!....

this post is about a girl...
she was born on may 4th, 1988...
i din't know anything about her till i saw her in my math tuitions one day....
even after she was in my same tuitions for more than a year, i still din't know she existed...
even after she'd been in my same school for 9yrs, i still din't know anything about her...
she never spoke to me.... i never spoke to her...
and we passed out of school....
suddenly after more than a year... this girl again reappears!!!.... (thanks to the brilliance of the now not-so-popular orkut....)
she says hi... i say hi.... we catch up....
we keep talking....
and finally the girl about whom i knew nothing and never spoke to, became my BEST friend!!!!....
a really supportive friend 2 whom i owe a lot....
wanna know who she is????..... guess who!!!!.....

Trip To Kodai

after three and a half years, i finally decided to join my college pals on a long distance trip.... to kodai.... KODAIKKANAL.... left on 30th sept.... as usual i couldn't tell my parents i was going on a trip.... since the mobile connectivity in Kodai is pathetic, i had to make up some excuse for that.... "the airtel tower in my area had fallen and is under repair, so i won't be able to attend any calls for the next few days" was the smartest i could think of!!!!.... (geeeez!!!... how stupid!!!!....).... and so we set off on our trip!!!!.... five of us... Amitabh, Amrit, Anuj, Shankar and me... and then!!!... it happened!!!.... we reachd!!!!.... some weird-ass place named bottle-a-goond.... wonder what drug these pandis take when they're naming places!!!!.... and so frm bottle-a-goond we took a bus ride uphill to kodai.... took us more than 2hrs!!!.... and then we reached the god forsaken place!!!!.... amazin place i must say!!!!.... an average temp of 12degrees!!!... predy cool for a place in tamilnadu.... then there was the usual superchargers... had mushrooms for the 1st time in my life.... and promised myself i'd never ever touch another mushroom in my life!!!!.... (not because i almost got killed or something.... but because i had no idea whether i was high, or was acting stupid!!!!) sept 3rd.... we got our asses out of kodai and back into chennai the next day.... oh n btw.... my friends and me have decided to observe oct 3rd as International Puke Day because of the number of asls who puked in the bus on our way back to chennai.... on d whole, one hell of a trip....

SIST

ahhhh... that's my college...
hmmmm... i really don't wanna talk about it....

ISM

indian school muscat....
that's the school i studied in....
the place where i had the best part of my life!!!!....
the place where failures never killed me!!!!....
the place where weirdos are a minority....
the place where exams don't mean the end of your life....
the place where making friends doesn't always mean you have to go for the guy whose topping the class....
the place where even if the teachers hate you, you still like them in the long run.... (unless they really really really hate you!!!!....)....
the place where lonely losers are put into a corner....
the place where everything happens....
school was great!!!....
college is not!!!!
*sigh..................................
that's my school by the way.... or a block of it rather.... the senior block....

Why Am I Doing This??????????

finally!!!!.... i have a blog too!!!!.... predy much surprising because i wasn't realy intrestd in this till a few weeks bk!!!.... hmmm.... now that i have one, i'd rather write something into it, than sit and stare at the ceiling the entire day!!.... k... before i start.... now in case ur wondering why am i actually doing this right now.... i guess this is just the perfect time.... if i'd thought of doing this back when i was in school, perhaps i was too young n immature n had too many things happening in my life to actually take the time off for this... after school, in my 1st 3yrs of college, nothing really intresting happened in my life... 'twas almost like as if i was dormant the whole time... but right now.... i got no worries on my mind.... i need not worry any more about exams.... i've stopped worrying about what'd happen once my close friends are gone (because i've come to learn that no friends are actually close to you, however close you are to them).... i've got nothing to look forward to (for the time being).... i almost feel like a 60yr old guy whose just retired from all responsibilities and is just relaxing.... that's why i choose 2 strt this now.... hope i don't lose my interest in this soon enough.... (like 2mro!!!!....)..... anyways here goes!!!!.... i guess i'm done with my 1st post!!!!.....