The Write Job

Someone asked me recently about what kinds of stuff I write about... Come to think about it, I have written columns on automobiles, movies, gadgets, cookery, health, technology, relationship advice, food, travel, stuff that I have no idea about (heck, I compiled a thesis for a university student!)... and more recently, I helped one of my friends' friend get into a writing job by writing the test for her!...

...Then why am I not in the writing profession???!!! (haha! I laugh every time I think about this...)

New Wine In A Very Old Bottle

Something seems very different... Very oddly out of place... I feel very out-of-place... What is this place?... Who are these people?... I look at myself in the mirror... I don't recognize the person staring back at me... That youthful mane I used to sport no more belonged in its place... Instead, there was an untidy growth of hair all over my face... Thick enough to hide all of my emotions...

Random people gathered around me... Everyone's talking to me, but I don't hear any of them... I don't recognise any of them... This buzzing in my ear... I can't hold it much longer... I'm about to explode..........

Pune!... 9 months and counting... I can't believe I'm finally no longer in Kochi, a city I'd wanted to leave so many years ago, working in a job I wanted to quit even before that!...

Ok enough about Kochi... Well... Pune... Pune's been a boiling pot of experiences so far... I love my job but I hate it... I want to go back home but I don't want to go back... I miss my old friends but I don't... I want to make new friends but I don't want to... Then there are those long tea breaks with the even longer, boring conversations...

The Wall... it's thicker than ever... I don't even want to know who is on the other side anymore....

The city's great! Looking forward to being here for a while... Life here is a big party, and I'm the uninvited guest...

How did everything change? Those better days seem like they were way long ago... 8 years? or was it 10 years ago?... I have no idea...

What else is happening? Well, beef is banned... Maggi is banned... I'm kinda losing count of the things that are getting banned in this country... Got a new bike... MC:ROTT is at 6 on BFG's Top 100 Games... Yay!... At least something to smile about (Probably this is the only feel-good takeaway from that place)...

Looking forward to change.........

Him... And Her...

It looked like forever since he had gotten out of the confinement of his bed... He tried to reach out for the iron bars on the nearby window as he tried to stand up... Age had not yet begun destroying him, but he'd started feeling old already... He couldn't remember how long he'd been in there... His trembling hands held on to the iron bars as he slowly rose to his feet... Mist had covered the entire window... All he could see were blurry colors moving about in the outside world... Everything was cloudy, just like his mind... It had always been cloudy, ever since he'd entered that place... A few droplets raced downward from the top of the window, creating a clear trail behind it as it moved... He tried to look through those trails at the world outside... It looked different... Things had changed... Everything had changed ever since he'd entered that place... He tried to move closer to the window, hoping to understand more clearly... But the chains snapped to his legs reminded him of his limits... He had never understood why he was bound... He couldn't remember for how long he'd been living in confinement... He'd been living this way - a life bound by limits, for what seemed like forever... His eyes filled up with tears, his vision blurred... He looked longingly through the clear trails in the window... It looked like her... In the garden, in the distance... She was picking flowers... Did she look happy?... He didn't know... People like him can't see or think straight... A teardrop flowed down his cheeks as he sat back on his bed, given up on life... He didn't know how much longer he'd have to be in there...

She looked at the mist that was hanging low over the garden... It looked like the sky itself had descended... She looked down at the frail, multicolored flowers at her feet... They looked like they deserved to die... She plucked a bright yellow flower and held it in her hand as she continued on with her stroll... She lifted the flower up to her nostril to feel its fragrance, but she hadn't realized that her senses were immune to any sort of feelings... She immediately crushed the flower and tossed it onto the wet mud... Rejection... That was what crossed her mind at that very instant as she looked at the flower... The bright and beautiful yellow flower had turned pale brown as it lay there, unwanted... These thoughts made her look up at the building in front of her... It was littered with windows... Windows everywhere... And at each window, there was a man... Each a master of his own misery... Some of them in tears, some of them not knowing where they were, and some of them happy to be on that side of the window... Yet, all of them were in chains... And they couldn't see or think straight... 'This is just the beginning, I am not done yet,' she thought to herself.

Strike-One

Well now that it is 2014, and it is Counter-Strike (referred to as CS hereon) season at my workplace, what better way to throw in my first post of the year than to write about the greatest game invented by mankind itself!...

From my observation while playing whatever CS I've played so far is that there are 13 types of CS players in all. Here goes...

1. The Veteran - claims to have been playing the game ever since he learnt to say the letters 'A' and 'B'.
2. The Strategy King - takes care of the strategy planning. Expects all of his teammates to follow his orders.
3. The Psychic - claims to know where exactly the opposing team would be headed at the start of the round itself.
4. The Angry General - gets extremely pissed off when a teammate gets killed or doesn't stick to team strategy.
5. The Splurge King - spends extravagantly. Busts all cash on whatever weapons are on sale. At the end of two deaths, is left with a good-for-nothing pistol and cash just enough for, maybe, a helmet.
6. The Miserly Tactician - is the exact opposite of the above. Spends on cheaper guns at the start and then builds his way up through the weapons list.
7. The Suicide Bomber - never knows the right time when to get out of a bombsite when the bomb is ticking away. Ends up dying in a bomb blast at almost all times.
8. The Desperate Vigilante - takes no cover. Is out in the open at all times.
9. The Decorator - runs around spraying bullets all over the place. Ends up killing anyone who falls under the spray range.
10. The Master Voyeur - has a regular hiding place. Runs to the hiding place and hides there till the round is over, no matter what, killing the occasional stray opponent that passes by.
11. The (W)hole Fireman - is obsessed with throwing grenades and flashbangs around all corners.
12. The Director - ends his game as quick as it had started, and then spends the remaining time instructing the remaining teammates on what to do and where to go.
13. The Lone Wolf - single-handedly takes care of killing the opposite team and planting/diffusing the bomb. Doesn't care about what the teammates are up to.

Fire in the hole! I'm out...

The Abominable Lull

So when my friend, a good friend I must add, called me in an emergency and cried for help, I had no option but to rush out of work and get to the hospital as soon as I could... my mind wandered as I drove... Blood... that was what he had called me for... I had to donate blood... never once in my life had I done that... blotches of red oozed across my mind... my vision blurred... everything began to turn red... I had to stay focused...

The hospital's parking lot was full of cars, yet devoid of any life form... I had to take a good two rounds of the lot to find an empty space... I parked my vehicle and stepped out of it... the car was slightly out of line... I waited for an irritating usher to come running along and shout at me ordering me to park correctly... no... today was different... there was no usher, nor was there anyone to charge me for the parking...

I walked on, as the sky grew darker... a gust of wind ensured that the dust was kept hanging in the air... a single droplet of rain hit my arm... by the time I looked at my arm, the droplet had already split into several tiny fragments... I watched as they raced down my arm for a short distance and then vanished... my preoccupation with the droplets had prevented me from noticing that the sky had turned a dark brown... 'deadness' hung in the air...

I passed the gate and watched in amazement as there was no one there too... a sole security camera looked at me and followed me as I moved, making an occasional noise and a red LED blinking rhythmically... the deserted hospital lobby looked no different from one that was buzzing with life... I've always had the feeling that hospital lobbies give you an air of death hovering over you... the only noises you are bound to hear are the ones of fingers tapping on keyboards, like someone preparing a copy of your final judgement, and babies crying their lungs out, like someone being mercilessly cast into a pit... and the smell... no words can describe it...

I looked for someone at the front desk to help me get to the blood bank... somehow I wasn't surprised at not finding anyone around... I walked straight ahead, and to my relief found a sign hanging from the ceiling... 'BLOOD BANK - II Floor' it read... in bold red letters... it let out a faint creaking noise as it swayed to and fro... In the distance, I heard a faint cry, probably from an old man in pain... my heart raced... I didn't know whether it was because I was relieved at finding someone around, or if I wasn't hoping to run into anyone in this eerieness... I ran to the nearest elevator and hit the call button... the elevator car was on my floor, but the doors didn't budge... the light inside it flickered, as I repeatedly punched the call button hoping for something to happen.

Like always, I wondered as I climbed... 'why are the flights of stairs in hospitals longer and wider?'... I paused for a moment as I reached the middle of the stairs... I imagined myself to be a tiny speck as I stood in the middle... I continued climbing upward, not pleased at the unavailability of anyone with me to share my thoughts with...

At the second floor, the Blood Bank was the room at the end of the corridor... I watched, as I walked, the brown dull sunlight snaking its way into the corridor through the window at the end... golden specks of dust floated about playfully in the lush brownness... a fluorescent lamp flickered inside the blood bank... I imagined red liquid dripping from the lamp... I tugged at the glass door to open it, but it had been chained shut... I pulled harder... the chains clamored against the door... the noise echoed across the hallway... it traveled all the way to the end, and then faded into obscurity... I looked back at the door, and suddenly I saw her...

Her pale face was pressed against the door... I recognized that pale face... it was from long ago... the years had done nothing to alter that face, save for the increased paleness... I pulled at the chained door again... neither did the door nor did she move an inch... it was like she was not expecting the door to move... she raised her hand, rubbing it against the glass... I raised mine too... our palms touched either side of the glass door at the same spot... I began to breathe deeply... the air was getting thicker... a drop of blood fell onto my foot... I felt my nostrils with my right hand, and almost immediately my fingers were engulfed in blood... my breathing had stopped... I looked at her again... her eyes suddenly filled with pain as her pale blue eyes shifted focus to something behind me... the fear in her eyes... like she was looking at Death in his eyes... I turned back just in time to see a sea of red rush through the hallway... before I could prepare myself for the end that awaited me, I was lifted by the monstrous wave of red... for a brief moment, I lay there floating in the midst of the red sea... I glanced at the door, and there she was... her emotions remaining unchanged... those pale blue eyes staring back at me blankly... those pale blue eyes from long ago...

Post Hiatus

It's been more than a year...

The past one year that I have stayed away from here has been filled with a lot of events (not that I couldn't find the time to blog, just that I didn't find the need to)... a multitude of road trips, a couple of new friends, turned an even greater number of old friends into haters, good times, bad times, excitements, disappointments... yet, a complete year later, this place feels the same... the numbness... the emptiness... I don't know if leaving this place will be of any help... they say 'It's not the place... It's you...' 

Somebody I Used To Know

Every now and then, there's a special person who comes along to remind you that the world is not such a bad place..
And then they leave..
Leaving you right in the middle of the wilderness..
Confused..
Broken..........

Where The Good Times Gone...

"Dude, why don't you ever smile?"

A question i've been asked on so many occasions in the past few weeks... And my answer??... Simply put, i've decided not to fake anymore.. All the fake smiling so far has put my jaws in pain, and i've decided to put an end to the misery.. These fair-weather friends with their pseudo friendships don't even deserve my fakest of fake smiles..

YES!!!... I am having a very bad day, if you haven't noticed so far... Sucked up day at work, disappointment, power failure - all the psychological tortures I can possibly imagine [post edit: actually not! I can imagine a lot more psychological forms of tortures!]...

I had wanted to mention this on my blog a while back, but it slipped my mind.. A couple of weeks back, I was invited by my colleague to his father's retirement party (!!!)... I was really curious about how people celebrated their retirement, so I decided to attend the function... I had half expected it to be a function where people quietly come in, shake hands with the retired person, murmur a tiny conversation with the other people gathered at the function and then leave... Trust me, I was taken in for a huge surprise when I reached the place... So much to the point that I wasn't sure whether I was at the retirement function or a marriage party!... There was loud music, singing, food, blah blah... I don't really get the point!!!... The very next day after your retirement would have to arguably be one of the most depressing days of your life!!!... The fact that you are done with everything and that you are simply waiting to hit the grave is going to haunt you right till, errr... your grave???... I don't find any reason in celebrating the fact that you are going to sleep till afternoon every day, and the only work you have is looking after the roses in your front yard!!!...

Oh btw... If you are taking in a lot of pressure at work and you own a good phone (and not the moronic ones that won't even allow you to check your mail), check out 'Mutant Roadkill'... The game is an absolute joy if you have a violent mofo hidden deep inside you... It's been helping me a lot these days... Everytime I need to release my frustration, I simply pick up my phone, open the game, run over 200 to 300 mutants and then get back to what I was doing... IT WORKS!!!

[Post Edit - Aug12] - Just got back from the company's badminton "tournament"... ahhh the cockhead (called so, little because of the shape of his head, and more because of the kind of person he is!) and his teammate ended up winning it... on the brighter side - played badminton for the first time in my life...

On a signing-off note...

I HATE THIS PLACE.....

(phew!... feeling much better now... no, actually not!... sigh...)

Twerps Of The Other Side

Watching the silly twerps around me outsmart their co-twerps while the lesser significant twats suck it up to them is even more annoying than watching a bunch of slimey frogs fight it out over a squiggly leech...

Ahhh... i'm getting good at this... life on this side of the wall... is as good as ever!... watching them from far far away gives me all the evil joys i could possibly ask for!... maybe i should get myself a recliner couch... and a tub of popcorn perhaps... oooh how i miss the popcorn from Shatti Cinema... Muscat... the caramel-coated soft oozlings from heaven... ahhh... home...

4:34am... sigh... sleep is so imaginary these days... far far far from reality... for all you know, i might just collapse one day... and then, i shall sleep forever.............

PS: in case you are wondering what a 'Brain Shpongle' is, it is what i call the condition of my brain after 2am... the time after which it goes into total 'dead-mode'...

Weak End

Gahhhh... it's the weekend again... somehow the last weekend of a month is something i never look forward to... perhaps it's because i'm absolutely cash-strapped by then... it's two of those days in the month when i sleep and i sleep and i sleep, hoping the day would just pass by... i miss those days in college when a weekend either meant meeting up with the guys or a stroll along the beach with the girl (guess that's the only part of college i'll ever miss)... all that's happening now on weekends is depressing music and even more depressing movies...

Life has now come to a standstill... it's not good, it's not bad... just somewhere in the middle... it won't improve, neither will it deteriorate... there's absolutely nothing to look forward to... the light at the end of the tunnel is still a tiny, shimmering spark...

Perhaps it's time.........

Hydey-Hydey-Ho!

Ok this post is special... very special in fact... first, because i'm returning to the blog after a very long time.. i guess this is the longest i've stayed away from the blog... me returning to the blog and making a resolution to post more frequently on every occasion reminds me of something else... the times when we used to come down from the 'Gelf'... every year we came down, the house here was in a mess.. cobwebs, broken furniture, plaster falling apart, signs of break-ins and more... and every time we clean up the mess and repair the house... by the time we're leaving, mom n dad make a resolution to take more care of the house and repair it more frequently... and yet, we come down the next year and it's the same story all over again! anyways, moving over to the second reason... this is the first time i'm going to visit hyderabad... and the third reason... this is the first time i'm blogging live... as and when things happen...

For starters, this is a thirty-hour journey... after an initial half hour confusion regarding the status of my ticket, i'm finally settled down... before boarding the train, i'd made the decision not to eat much until i reach hyd... but then, the craving for steaming vadas made me eat a crappy dosa and the soggy vada that came with it... so much for breakfast!... wonder what crap is in store for lunch...

Just woke up from an extended nap... (started off with a serving of bad news... a good friend's (from work) dad passed away...) i've been glancing at my watch every two minutes for the past 45 minutes... still about 24hours to go!!!... how do people survive for so long in a train??... ah i guess i'll know by the time i reach tomorrow... meanwhile, the girl sitting next to the window (no... she's not a Girl By The Window... yet) looks 'interesting' and 'not interested' at the same time... note the two usages of 'interest' used here...

Just entered Tamilnadu... i am forced to relive all the horrors of train journeys during college days... stinking beggars who keep touching you, half-naked kids, people eating pongal and sambhar endlessly... gahh... i hate this... i really hope i won't have to encounter a eunuch... it's the worst of all evils....

Darkness is setting in... i can still see we're stuck somewhere in tamilnadu from the vast stretches of barren land on both sides of the train, dotted with the occasional pink, green and yellow houses... i've embarrassed myself well enough so far with the zillion bangings of my head on the iron bar next to my head while asleep... i know that because every time my phone buzzes and my sleep is disturbed and i open my eyes, i see the people sitting around me staring at me with a sympathetic smile that reads "poor retarded you"...

Dinner time... everyone's proudly unpacking their newpaper-covered dinner... the excitement on their faces is similar to that of a five-year old unpacking his birthday present excited to see what's inside... hell i know what's going to be in their packages!!.. it's just a huge pile of rice and perhaps, some sambhar??...

Well... several 'dal vadas' and 'banana fries' later (i'd promised myself not to eat anything so that my tummy would hold up till i reach some accommodation in hyderabad with a decent toilet... but then, i'd ended up eating more 'dal vadas' and 'banana fries' than i would in a week!!!... talk about me and keeping promises!!), i have finally reached the place - HYDERABAD!!!...

For the past couple of minutes, i've been attempting to dodge auto drivers by pretending to be a very busy person waiting for a friend/driver to come and pick me up... the city is pretty much in between bengaluru and chennai, look-n-feel wise... i am walking out of the railway station and onto the telugu streets, still pretending to be a busy person... i am trying every person i know who has a connection with hyderabad, but the best response i've been able to gather so far is 'use Google Maps'!!!... so then, i continue walking down the streets till i reach a row of hotels, to my luck!!... and now, here i am... checked in to Hotel Meena Classic (is what i think the receptionist said the name was...)...

Moved into my room, watched tv for a while, and now back on the streets... just remembered i'd dropped my toothbrush on the train bathroom floor, and so, it was time to get a new one... i walk to the nearest auto driver and ask him if he knows where the nearest supermarket is... and he says 'no'!... ok... strange!!... i continue walking... and walking... oh did i forget to mention it was drizzling earlier??... well, it's pouring now!... i walk to the nearest Baskin Robbins and take shelter in front of it... the shopkeeper is outside too... just to make small conversation and to ensure that he doesn't drive me away, i ask him if he knows where the nearest supermarket is... and there he begins his detailed explanation of the route to a supermarket that is galaxies away... i hadn't realized supermarkets were so hard to find in hyderabad... maybe i should make use of Google Maps, like my friend suggested!!... my train of wandering thoughts is suddenly interrupted... not by the shopkeeper... but by an Assamese mom and her 3 kids... she just ran to the front of a shop, to take shelter, on the opposite side of the road... after she looks around for about five seconds, our eyes finally meet... and almost immediately, i know i'm in love... until an auto arrives, she gets in, and drives away... BAM!!!... that was just the opportunity to kickstart a 'worthwhile' life in hyderabad, and i'd just washed it away in the rain... sigh...

I pick up another auto and instruct him to go to the nearest supermarket... it takes us a good fifteen minutes to reach a damn supermarket!!... he offers to wait until i'm done with my shopping and take me back... i reluctantly agree (auto drivers are never upto any good... if they're being nice, it only means they've found means of making an extra buck, through you...)... i finish shopping and i get out and he's still there waiting for me in the heavy rain... i ask him to stop at a good biriyani place on the way... (hyderabadi biriyani is the ultimate stuff, according to my telugu roomies in college)...

I clearly remember ordering a single biriyani, but the parcel that has just arrived is good enough to feed two starving families in Bosnia!!... i politely ask the shop owner to give me a smaller pack (extra politeness because from what i've seen in movies, telugus aren't the kind you would want to mess with... they may just draw out their sword and slash you into pieces)... i finally get a 'mini' biriyani, which is still good enough to feed a single starving family in Bosnia!!... i decide not to ask them to make it smaller, and quietly walk out into the rain... i take the same auto back to my hotel room...

I just realized that the time is 6.30!!!... there's a long way to go in the evening... i decide to grab a beer from the nearest beverages store... 


Back in my room, i just caught a cold reception from the receptionist when i asked him for an opener... apparently, such a huge hotel does not have an opener!!!... i finally open my beer with a pair of scissors that i had brought down... my plan is to drink myself to sleep early, so that i'm fresh in the morning tomorrow...

And it's morrrrninnnngggg!!!... ahhhh... steaming hot water in the shower... awesome!!... ok ok... it's not as pleasant as I'm trying to make it sound... it was actually "FAAAAAA!!!!.... steaming hot water! WTF!!!"... yes i almost got scalded in the shower... anyways... it's time to check out... and get on with what i came here for...

300bux??!!!!... you've got to be kidding me!!... 300bux to get to where i want to go by auto!!... i bargain for about 15minutes and we finally settle for 200bux... i reach my place and what do i see??... hyderabad's F-Lounge is right next door!!... ssssweet!!!... i walk into my place at 10.20am...

7.30pm... i'm finally done with whatever i came for... exhausted i step out into the light drizzle... damn these auto guys... they're just impossible to deal with!... 350bux to get back home!!... no friggin way!!... i wait and i wait and i wait... till finally... 180bux... an auto guy offers to take me to my place for 180bux!!!... MORONNNN!!!... ha!... ahhh... but he doesn't seem like an idiot after all!!.. he takes in another family for 150bux, and reduces my fare to 150bux too!... all the more good for me!!... the 'family' consists of a woman and her two daughters... it's raining harder and it's getting even colder... the driver is stopping for some hot hyderabadi tea... as we sit sipping the piping hot tea in the auto, one of the daughters finally breaks the silence and decides to talk to me... and then she gets talking... and talking... about her engineering scores, her current training, her dream of moving to the US... she keeps talking and talking till i finally start pretending like i'm getting a lot of phone calls... the trio finally get down and i move into a hotel room... the second one in two days... after a rather heavy dinner (trust me, food in hyderabad is always way too much!!.. if you are ordering food for yourself, make sure you have two people with you to share it!!... i've been wasting a lot of food over the two days here...), i'm finally settling in to sleep... it's midnight already... nothing interesting on tv.....

Back in a train... the long journey back... my mind is so full of questions... will i???... won't i???... yet another seat next to the emergency window... (when i came to hyderabad too i was seated next to an emergency window) perhaps it's someone sending out a signal... gahhh... i hope there's no bomb on this train... if there is one, i might have to extend my leave at work... that wouldn't go down really well with the boss... i might lose the job... the trauma of the train blast and now the added trauma of losing my job would make me mentally retarded... and then my... wait a minute!!!... i'm already mentally retarded!!!... so what difference does this make??!!!... ok ok... i need to stop... my thoughts have gone far far away...

The train ride back looks like it's going to be a boring one... not that the train ride i took the day before was particularly interesting, but still... the grandpa at the other end of my seat is already sleeping... Dr. Raj Kumar i recall his name was from the reservation list... yes, just like any mallu of my age, i too have the habit of going through the entire reservation list to see if there's anyone in my vicinity of around my same age... great!!... this telugu couple with a baby just walked in... they're sitting next to me... a baby!!!... A STUPID BABY!!... this means i'll have to put up with the stupid baby's crying and the stupider parents antics till the idiots get down!!... ahhh my iPod!!.. always comes to my rescue... now i can't hear anything that the... no! no! wait! NOOOO!!!!!...great... the iPod's battery is dead!!... damn you Apple!...

It feels weird in a way that i'm seeing all the places that i saw two days ago back in reverse... most of the places are still fresh in my mind... the kid sittting in front of me won't stop talking... she has doubts about everything she sees outside... even after realizing that her mom is clueless about most things, she just won't give up!!... and yes... that stupid baby is still screaming her lungs out!... why? why? whyyyyyy?

It's 1.30... 24 hours more to go... why is everyone staring at the baby and commenting on everything she does??!!!... makes it look it is some endangered species that has been imported from Lithuania...

So now two of them are talking about their past visits to the US... i love the way the telugu guy pronounces Manhattan as 'Maan-hutton'... gawddd... indians!!!.. meanwhile, the stupid baby's stupid parents are trying to put it off to sleep... funny thing is they're singing "ooo-la-la ooo-la-la thu hai meri fantasy" and "kolaveri" to put it to sleep!... fathetic...

Religion, kids, temples, doctors, saris, illayaraja... the range of topics these 'intellectuals' discuss is endless!!!... every once in a while i'm dragged into the conversation, and then i pretend like i'm getting a text and i slowly drift away from the discussion...

Ok joke of the evening!!... this fat guy (who's part of the 'intellectual discussion') tells this female (who's also part of the 'intellectual discussion') that he'll show her something, gets up and bends down to reach into his bag... and what does he show her??... a full-blown view of his humongous ass!!!... i can't control my laughter... oh gawd... i'm going to burst.... somebody hold meeeeee!!!!.....

I just noticed that the female sitting in front of me looks like a crow from the side!!!...

The sad part about traveling in air-conditioned compartments in trains: no open windows through which you can throw your garbage out (yeah c'mon, i'm an indian too!!)... the good part: good food - even the veg food has paneer in it!!!...

Great!!!... it's time for bed and the stupid baby has puked all over the place!!!... the dad is now cleaning up the entire place with the bedsheets that were supposed to be slept on... and while he's at it, he's also giving us a generous view of his humongous ass!!...

Aaahhhh anyways... i'm done for the night... yet another night of the hyderabad episode... i'm all tucked away into the lower berth... ahhh lower berth after so many years... i remember the last time i got the lower berth was back in my third year of college, when i secretly watched my batchmate getting 'molested' in the dark till cops came in and threw the molester guy out!!...

It's morning!!!... in just a few more hours i'm going to reach cochin!!... all the noisemakers who were sitting around me have left, which has come across as a huge relief... the picturesque view rushing past my window makes me feel thoroughly welcome to God's own country (yeah, God alone knows what lies in wait for me in this country place!!)...

I guess i'm done with all the shockers for this trip... just this last one... the guy sitting next to me, a 25-year old MBBS student, his laptop's touchpad ain't working... he looks up at me and asks, "dude, do you know what the shortcut for closing a window is?"...

Bahhh... these specimens will never cease to amaze me... anyways i'm over and out... i'm only minutes away from my destination... updates on the outcome of my hyderabad trip will be posted soon... that is, IF the outcome is in my favor... ;)... ciao!


PS: Thanks to Evernote for making this post a success!... guys with a good Android phone should try it out!


PPS: Pls forgive any typos you may find in this post, i'd typed the whole thing on my phone... not an easy job to do... and pls don't try informing me about any typos either... honestly speaking, i don't care!

Coincidences & The End Of The World

I meet one of my colleagues' girlfriends and her striking similarity with one of my schoolmates immediately hits me... so much that I loudly remark about it... and then I come home and I get a text... from a schoolmate who's come down to India from Canada for holidays... and this schoolmate was the exact same schoolmate who I thought looked like my colleague's girlfriend... coincidence??... the limits of it I'd say!...

And then there's the other coincidence too... the sad one... V's getting married... Ghostrider II is out... I send a "hi... long time!" mail to V just a week before she gets engaged... yes... 2012 is the year of the apocalypse, and the end of (my) world has just happened...

Funny thing... the day my friend tells me about the engagement, I was watching this crappy movie (which I think was called 'Vinaythandi Veruvaaya') about a Christian mallu and a Tamil Hindu... the guy is an engineering student, and the girl is the older one... both want to get married but fear opposition from society... and in the end they part ways... coincidence again???...

And oh yeah... thanks to an idiot friend of mine, the fact that I'm "schizophrenic" is published in our office newsletter, and the whole world "knows".... great!!... 

Supermarket Girl

The moment I lay my eyes upon you
I knew you were the next GBT window
One moment you were there, the next out of view
Tryin' desperately to avoid the hungry glances that fell upon thou.


When you changed lanes I should have known
That cover all I had was fully blown
But then if I'd opened my mouth n gone with the flow
No more would you have been a girl by the window.


Yes, that's how life has been so far
Never attempting to get at par
You're gone once and for all
And here I am, yet again having failed to take the call...

2012 - The Last Year

New Year's eve has never been so good
Out of nowhere you appeared
The pain in you eyes were all but indicative
Of the plain fact that you were waiting to be rescued...



It's 2012!!... supposedly our last year on earth... I guess there's quite a lot to be done this year then... time to pen down... THE BUCKET LIST....

And of course, New Year was "goooooooooood"....... :)

The Time When I Partied n Partied n Partied...

"There goes yet another girl by the window
Despised by some, Hated by some
Like the cold winter breeze
All in a flash she was gone........."


I'm beginning to hate the fact that I'm not able to write more often... the last two months have been packed with a lot of action that I can barely remember anything that happened (that sounds a little contradicting, doesn't it?!)... to start off, we had Independence Day celebrations at work, when we had our faces painted with the colors of the flag and each of us patriotically hoisted a flag each on Facebook!!!... yeah, Facebook!... is there anything you can't do on Facebook these days?!!!... FB can even calculate which person from amongst my friend list I will be marrying in a few years!!!... I wonder how people who don't have Facebook IDs survive!...

Then there were the couple of client visits at work... the usual kind of people, who sit on glass tables, with a small bottle of mineral water and a crystal glass gleaming in front of each of them... I've often wondered, 'do these people feel thirsty at all??'... the way they take those tiny sips out of their glasses, and make sure that they are only halfway through the bottle when the entire 4-hour conference is over - truly thought-provoking... and then there was the company party, in which I managed to, if not make a complete one, make a partial idiot of myself by totally losing my senses...

Speaking of which, I've come up with this total new look, with a brand new haircut... of the 47 people I've met after my revamped look, all 47 have hated it... so I guess, the look's gonna stay for a while!!!... and speaking of haircuts (which I've had 2 in 3 weeks btw), for the first one that I had, I had a stupid kid and his even more stupid dad in line before me... so that meant I had to sit through and watch all the antics that the kid and his dad were putting up for me... the kid was getting a mushroom cut (which according to me is the ugliest haircut ever... so ugly that it was banned in my school!!) and his dad kept watch beside him, a gleaming ear-to-ear smile on his face all the while... wiping the kid's face every time a strand of hair fell on it... I had had enough when the dad started throwing flying kisses at the kid, and was all set to leave, when the barber, who was also apparently sick of the drama, shaved off whatever was remaining on the kid's head and threw the two of them out of the shop... bahhhh... kids and parents these days... get a life people!

Looks like the rains have finally begun to hold up, which is quite sad btw... agreed I hate rains, but at least the weather is cool and the car stays clean during rains... I missed the opportunity of staying at home, down with fever, sipping on hot choco this monsoon... I guess I haven't done that since college!... I remember those days when VG and me used to get those piping hot coffees with those straws with microscopic outlets... I never really understood the point... those things always have the habit of surprising you when the coffee reaches your mouth... bah... but those days were good... when it all started with hot coffee and an eBiz presentation... it was all it took.......... sigh...

Anyways, here we are... it's October... the month of Octoberfest... like it has anything to do with me, but still... it's been a month since 'THE NXT LVL'... an attempted rip-off of The Nirvana Nites... almost hit the spot... it's at least good to know that a handful of the guys are already looking forward to the next edition... hmmm... in other news, my best pal, whom I haven't seen in six years has moved to Europe... it's good to know that people are getting on with their lives... and lastly, I'm suffering from PMS (no no NO!!!... PMS doesn't stand for what you think it stands for!!... it stands for Phone Malfunctioning Syndrome) yet again!!!... so every fifteen minutes, my phone keeps freezing up... so if you are lucky enough to call me during the 15-minute unfrozen window, I shall be answering the call... else... well, you won't know, but on the other end, I may be banging the phone on some wall... talk about freezing, I used to have this friend in school, whom I told about my PC freezing up every now and then, and she suggested I should keep my PC in an oven... ahhhh... thank God she doesn't work where I work now!!!... ;)... (my colleagues would know why!... lol)....

Ciao....

Losing My Sanity

Knucklebrains!!!!... they are always there... wherever I go... and their standards keeps dropping with each place................ my 20k songs.............. they're all gone...... sigh.....

Anyways... here we are.. in the month of August... and what's special about August??... for starters, it's the worst month this year!!!... there's not "much" work to do, people are damaging my stuff, losing a lot of friends and all the shit that could possibly happen... on the brighter side, I was at this this miniature batch reunion at JJ's place... not my batch, but his batch... and I must say it was a blast... ahhhh... speaking of JJ's batchmates, it's amazing how these guys from the pre-Facebook era keep in touch so well... I've never really understood the basic protocol of being busy... you send your friend a mail (or a wall post), you have to wait for at least a month to get a response... it's even worse in office, when you send a mail to a colleague who's sitting a few cubicles away... once you're done with the sending, you have to walk over to his cubicle and beg him to check your mail and respond!... (I don't really get the point of sending a mail in those cases!)... ah well... speaking of work... we've been having a lot of new guys coming in off late, it's really hard to keep track... it's like those days in college... where the Tamil guys and the North Indian guys didn't know the names of guys from the opposite community... (but being an NRI mallu puts you right in the middle of both the communities (btw the other minority communities don't count - you're either a Tamil, or a North Indian, or an NRI mallu)... so that implies you have to learn the names of everyone from both the communities... which is quite taxing... sigh... the woes of an NRI mallu...) so the Tamils used to refer to the North Indian guys as 'andha Hindi paythyakaaran payyan' and the North Indians used to refer to the Tamils as 'Wo Parachute oil ki godown'... lol...

I guess I won't be back before Independence Day... so all those Indians out there, who are like really proud of the country... good for you!... I think I had something more in mind before I started writing this blog... or is it typing this blog... or should I say blogging this blog??!!!... lol... I'm really mind-fugged at the moment... my mind is so full of isolated thoughts that keep overlapping with each other... I was revising my game design document today, and I reached this part where I'd written - 'A cannon ball is seen attached to a dead skeleton'... (crazy as it may sound, it is a part of the game we're currently developing!... except for the 'dead' skeleton!)... I scrolled up to make sure there was no more idiotic stuff... and lo!... 'However, the cannon is found missing its balls'... come to think about it, it does make perfect sense, but then, the weirdism... and then there was this article I wrote - 'Ford Unleashes Performance Kit for Mustana'...

And so that's that... got nothing more... life's getting really boring and mundane here in Kochi... in short, Kochi pazhe Kochi alla, it's beginning to suck to the core...

Oh by the way, now that QR codes are the "in" thing, here's the QR code of my blog url... in case you guys are having a tough time passing on my url, you can simply pass on the QR code!!!!... smart me!!!... ;)

My Take On....

Life @ Ghost House... Well it's been almost a month since I've moved into my new apartment... the 'Ghost House' as we call it... why is it called the Ghost House??... simple... because there's a ghost in the house!!!... (or at least my roomies think so!)... so now it's living with a bunch of roomies, four to be precise... so there's the waiting-in-line-to-get-into-the-shower, finding your stuff mixed up, waiting for weeks and weeks till all of your roomies go home and your chick can 'pay you a little visit', and blah blahs...

Reel life n Real life... I was watching this movie recently in which there's this chick who's got Parkinson's and she's in love with this guy, who's got nothing... I meant, no diseases... and then they break up... and she finds another guy, and he wishes she were back... and then he talks to her, and then there's the female's tears of joy and BAM!! they're back together... daim!!!... it always happens... the couple break up... the female finds another guy, who's far too better (and richer with a much better job, in most cases) than the previous guy... and then one fine day, the previous guy shows up, and BAM!! they're back together!!!!............ DAIM!!!!....

Cars n Gals... I just figured out recently that cars and girls give you the same feeling (well, almost)... a new chick is like your new car... and the old hag you're trying to dump is like... well... your old car!... think about it... you drive around in the same car for a year or two... you start thinking that it's the most perfect car you can have... so far, there have been no glitches.... everything's been real smooth... and then one fine day, you get your new car, which may not be as grand and expensive as your old one... though there might be some features (that were present in your old car) missing in the new one, you still won't mind... just because it's a new car, and you can't hate it... and then one fine day, the car breaks down... and then, you curse it... you realize how much better your old car was... and you begin wishing you had your old car back... well, a car once gone, is gone for good... and.... uhmmmm.... ok next.... (I am so good at talking rubbish, ain't I??... I wish there were awards for rubbish bloggers!!!...)

Being Obsessed with Obsessions... I've always had some sort of obsessions throughout my life... when I was really young (we're talking one-n-a-half decades ago), I was really obsessed about studying... I know it's a really stupid thing to be obsessed about, but then, those were my days of stupidity... when I grew a little older (like a decade ago), I was obsessed about counting the number of manholes I came across when I walked on the roads (no, it's not a very disgusting thing to do... Muscat's manholes aren't half as stinky as India's!!...)... then in college, I was obsessed with my pictures... my phone had one of my pictures as its wallpaper... my PC had a tiled wallpaper of my picture... the chick would keep saying 'Dude, are you obsessed with yourself?!'... sigh... those were my Days of Stupidity Part-II... and then after the chick left, I became obsessed about serial killers... so much that I'd almost created an entire website on my collection of serial killers from the past century... well, my point here is... is... isssssss.... uhmmmm.... what could my point here be??.... hmmm... that everyone's got a secret obsession???... yess!!... precisely my point!!!... everyone's got a secret obsession!!!... some people are obsessed about Facebook, some are about new clothes, while others may be about Transformers toys, while still others may be about screwing other people's lives, or even reading senseless, mindless blogs!!!!... I would call all of that obsessions!!!.... oh... all you pathetic obsessed people!!!.... I take pity on you!!!...

Passengers n music... My taste in music has never been particularly appreciated by anyone... they always hate the music I love to listen to... but recently, I gave this colleague of mine a ride in my car... as usual, my 'favorite' playlist was playing.... but instead of asking me to change the music, this guy was totally enjoying the music... he even started showing hand gestures in appreciation... I was left totally clueless... to find out what was going on, I changed the music to songs which are universally hated by everyone... and then, surprises of surprises, this guy started headbanging!!!... my insides were aching because I was holding on to my laughter... and then, this guy got down at his place, and the fun was all over...

Hating kids... There has always been a reason why I've hated kids... though I haven't been able to find a core reason for doing so, I have a multitude of tiny tiny reasons... here's one... today's Saturday... the kids downstairs have been playing cricket for the past four hours... and guess what they've been using as their wicket... my car!!!!... I have half a mind to pick up a shotgun and go BAM! BAM! BAM! (oh, that's a lot BAM's in this post!!!... this post's getting way too violent... you better be above 18 years old if you're reading this one!!!....)... totally pissing off... I just crashed my car today and.... speaking of which!!!....

My car losing its virginity... Yes... though it's had a few bumps a couple of times before, this is the first major crash... so it's the official loss of its virginity... I was running a red signal, and BAM!!!... (again!) I crashed into an autorickshaw... since I was at fault, all I could do was speed off... and now, there's a crack in the side view mirror... I guess the car will have to live with it for as long as it stays with me!....

Indians... Now these are some people who need to get themselves a good mirror and look into it closely (well, I'm talking metaphorically of course... those who can figure it out, go figure!)...

Ok, this is not really a part of this post, but... Chowder was down in Cochin couple of weekends back... was a big change to have an ISMer here... it always is a big change having an ISMer home... anyways, this time round, we were off to Vagamon... was a pretty good place... so good that we think it would make a good and cheap replacement for Munnaar... I have few pics on my phone, but due to some technical snitches I am not able to upload them... so, I guess I'm done for now... but before I leave, let me remind you... it's 'Studying Bells' for me... we might have a second chapter of Chennai in our hands... keeping my fingers crossed.... ciao!

Hangover Part III

I'm back people!!!... after a long hiatus, I am back!!!... it does look like I may have lost whatever few readers I had, but still, it feels good to be back... and after recovering from a deadly hangover, it definitely feels good to have got back (to my senses!!)...

Speaking of which, last Wednesday, was the day I decided to relive my days of youth... and Thursday, was the day I decided I should never ever take such a stupid decision in my life again... it was after the house-warming (my colleagues'), that we went around the entire city, first for a smoke, then for black tea, for black tea again, then for a smoke, then to get some molaga bhaji (that's something made of chili...), then to drop a friend home, and then get back home... in all, it was six hours of driving around in the rain, 'swimming' on the highway (!!!), black tea and bhaji searching... I'm not going into the details here, since I have no intention of making myself look like an idiot!!... anyways, that's the story of the 'Wolfpack'...

And oh yes... since I was away from here, I guess I hadn't mentioned about the brand new ride... yes!!... the Chevrolet Beat is in my garage... so that is kinda cool... I haven't managed to get a pic of the car yet... the only one I have is the one that my colleague clicked... here it is, if it makes any sense to you people!!....

I totally like the new mobile template for blogger... looks good... 

Been A While!

Yet another girl by the window
Only, this time, jerks keep poppin' up from nowhere, everywhere
Yet another reason to hate women so
About the jerks, I don't really care!


It's really been quiet some time since I got in here... with the world ending and stuff, had a lot of things to finish off... (relax!!.. we still have around 20 months!)

Ok.. recap time... let's see... the last time I took off from here was February 10th... hmmmm... after that... oh, there was Valentine's Day celebrations at work... which was so very "exciting".... with the 80+ guys and the half a dozen married girls... oh.... and then there was the Avial show... in Cochin!!!... where no band has ever dared to perform!!!... (I have a couple of the live videos... but thanks to my stupid phone, it looks like those videos are gone for good... daim you Koreans (Samsung... :P))... and then... there was Chowder's sister's (the same sister who helped us make the television back in fifth grade) engagement... where I bumped into two Telugu juniors from SIST, who had surprisingly been to my house 'many' times, and yet, had not noticed that I stayed there.... hmmm... talk about invisibility!... about the Telu's... we used to have a couple of them in school, but no one really knew who was from where... at that time, I used to imagine Telugu's as people who always sped around in 4-5 Tata Sumo's together, with sandalwood paste all over the vehicles, and yellow flags hanging in every direction... oh, and then, there was the trip to Munnaar (yet again!) with the colleagues...

Ok... so that's it for now... guess I'll be back soon.....

Weird Musings...

I was taking this horrendously stupid long walk across the city (yeah, I mean it! ACROSS THE CITY!) today, and that gave me ample time to come up with tons of crappy ideas... here's one of them, which was not really worth sharing, but definitely worth recording (according to me)... and so, what better place than here!!!!.... ok here goes...

'To start with... I should meet a girl this year on the 18th of December... on my birthday... and as luck would have it, her birthday would be on the same day too!!!... we mess around (not to be confused with 'mess up'!) for five years and BAM!... we get married on 18th December, 2016... and then, on December 18th, 2020, we get kids... twins!!!... so if we were to calculate, on December 18th, 2020, I would be celebrating my 33rd birthday, my wife's 33rd birthday as well, the ninth anniversary of the day we first met, the fourth wedding anniversary, and the birth of the kids... not one, but twins!!!...'

Ok yeah... the idea of having twins was stupid and pointless... moreover, the world's gonna end next year, so what's the point!... maybe I need to go to sleep!... thank you for wasting your time!!!... yet again!!!!....