My Take On....

Life @ Ghost House... Well it's been almost a month since I've moved into my new apartment... the 'Ghost House' as we call it... why is it called the Ghost House??... simple... because there's a ghost in the house!!!... (or at least my roomies think so!)... so now it's living with a bunch of roomies, four to be precise... so there's the waiting-in-line-to-get-into-the-shower, finding your stuff mixed up, waiting for weeks and weeks till all of your roomies go home and your chick can 'pay you a little visit', and blah blahs...

Reel life n Real life... I was watching this movie recently in which there's this chick who's got Parkinson's and she's in love with this guy, who's got nothing... I meant, no diseases... and then they break up... and she finds another guy, and he wishes she were back... and then he talks to her, and then there's the female's tears of joy and BAM!! they're back together... daim!!!... it always happens... the couple break up... the female finds another guy, who's far too better (and richer with a much better job, in most cases) than the previous guy... and then one fine day, the previous guy shows up, and BAM!! they're back together!!!!............ DAIM!!!!....

Cars n Gals... I just figured out recently that cars and girls give you the same feeling (well, almost)... a new chick is like your new car... and the old hag you're trying to dump is like... well... your old car!... think about it... you drive around in the same car for a year or two... you start thinking that it's the most perfect car you can have... so far, there have been no glitches.... everything's been real smooth... and then one fine day, you get your new car, which may not be as grand and expensive as your old one... though there might be some features (that were present in your old car) missing in the new one, you still won't mind... just because it's a new car, and you can't hate it... and then one fine day, the car breaks down... and then, you curse it... you realize how much better your old car was... and you begin wishing you had your old car back... well, a car once gone, is gone for good... and.... uhmmmm.... ok next.... (I am so good at talking rubbish, ain't I??... I wish there were awards for rubbish bloggers!!!...)

Being Obsessed with Obsessions... I've always had some sort of obsessions throughout my life... when I was really young (we're talking one-n-a-half decades ago), I was really obsessed about studying... I know it's a really stupid thing to be obsessed about, but then, those were my days of stupidity... when I grew a little older (like a decade ago), I was obsessed about counting the number of manholes I came across when I walked on the roads (no, it's not a very disgusting thing to do... Muscat's manholes aren't half as stinky as India's!!...)... then in college, I was obsessed with my pictures... my phone had one of my pictures as its wallpaper... my PC had a tiled wallpaper of my picture... the chick would keep saying 'Dude, are you obsessed with yourself?!'... sigh... those were my Days of Stupidity Part-II... and then after the chick left, I became obsessed about serial killers... so much that I'd almost created an entire website on my collection of serial killers from the past century... well, my point here is... is... isssssss.... uhmmmm.... what could my point here be??.... hmmm... that everyone's got a secret obsession???... yess!!... precisely my point!!!... everyone's got a secret obsession!!!... some people are obsessed about Facebook, some are about new clothes, while others may be about Transformers toys, while still others may be about screwing other people's lives, or even reading senseless, mindless blogs!!!!... I would call all of that obsessions!!!.... oh... all you pathetic obsessed people!!!.... I take pity on you!!!...

Passengers n music... My taste in music has never been particularly appreciated by anyone... they always hate the music I love to listen to... but recently, I gave this colleague of mine a ride in my car... as usual, my 'favorite' playlist was playing.... but instead of asking me to change the music, this guy was totally enjoying the music... he even started showing hand gestures in appreciation... I was left totally clueless... to find out what was going on, I changed the music to songs which are universally hated by everyone... and then, surprises of surprises, this guy started headbanging!!!... my insides were aching because I was holding on to my laughter... and then, this guy got down at his place, and the fun was all over...

Hating kids... There has always been a reason why I've hated kids... though I haven't been able to find a core reason for doing so, I have a multitude of tiny tiny reasons... here's one... today's Saturday... the kids downstairs have been playing cricket for the past four hours... and guess what they've been using as their wicket... my car!!!!... I have half a mind to pick up a shotgun and go BAM! BAM! BAM! (oh, that's a lot BAM's in this post!!!... this post's getting way too violent... you better be above 18 years old if you're reading this one!!!....)... totally pissing off... I just crashed my car today and.... speaking of which!!!....

My car losing its virginity... Yes... though it's had a few bumps a couple of times before, this is the first major crash... so it's the official loss of its virginity... I was running a red signal, and BAM!!!... (again!) I crashed into an autorickshaw... since I was at fault, all I could do was speed off... and now, there's a crack in the side view mirror... I guess the car will have to live with it for as long as it stays with me!....

Indians... Now these are some people who need to get themselves a good mirror and look into it closely (well, I'm talking metaphorically of course... those who can figure it out, go figure!)...

Ok, this is not really a part of this post, but... Chowder was down in Cochin couple of weekends back... was a big change to have an ISMer here... it always is a big change having an ISMer home... anyways, this time round, we were off to Vagamon... was a pretty good place... so good that we think it would make a good and cheap replacement for Munnaar... I have few pics on my phone, but due to some technical snitches I am not able to upload them... so, I guess I'm done for now... but before I leave, let me remind you... it's 'Studying Bells' for me... we might have a second chapter of Chennai in our hands... keeping my fingers crossed.... ciao!

Zoom, Zoom, Zooooommmmm!!!.....

Ahhhhhhhhhh.... the end of yet another year!!!!... everything in December flashes by so fast... first it was the birthday... and then, X'mas... and now New Year (though technically speaking, New Year is a part of Jan, I like to consider it as part of Dec)...

It does feel kinda great to know that I've already lived through three decades - the 80s, 90s and the noughties... and now, it's the fourth decade... after having achieved such a remarkable milestone, what does it make me feel??... nothing!... absolutely nothing!!...

Ahhh... i got my office New Year party coming up... having known myself for the past 23 years, I'm expecting it to be a total disaster on my part... oh btw!!!... I happened to run into one of the ISM friends here in Cochin!... one of my friend's friend actually... and not exactly 'ran into'... but that's the term I'd prefer to use when I meet someone out of the blue after more than half a decade!!... apparently, the person's been working in the same city as mine for the past 1.5 years!!... talk about weird-ass coincidences... you're in the same city for almost two years, and then suddenly one day you find out that your friend's friend is in the same city too!!!... real kick-ass weird!!!...

Whoops gotta go!!... it's past midnight... gotta make it to the cab on time tomorrow... this week has been totally reminiscent of college days.... those days when I used to run behind the bus, miss it, get back home and go back to sleep... except that I don't come back and sleep anymore... can't afford to do that now, lol!...

July - Over and Out!

So finally July is drawing to a grand close as well!!... right from the month of April, i've been hoping that the following month would be interesting... and this time too, i'm hoping for the same... this month has been quiet an eventful month though... firstly, the FIFA WC is finally over... and with that, at least 30 of my 200-something friends on Facebook have nothing more to talk about for the next four years!!... no more of the infamous OctoPaul or the 'listen-to-it-more-than-5times-n-ur-sure-to-get-irritated' Waka Waka (i hate to admit it, but my alarm tone is the 'Waka Waka'... my policy is that irritating music in the morning tends to wake you up much faster)... i had supported many teams this time round, and watched them fall one by one as well... Italy, England, Brazil... all of them... and finally, the Oranje... Now that the Commonwealth Games are coming up, i hope the indians don't come up with the indian version of OctoPaul to predict who's going to win what medal!!...

Then, there was the Editorial day out at The Park last week... the only thing that amused me during the entire course of the event was the menu... i wasn't really doing a good job of holding myself back from cracking up when i saw 'Chowder' listed under the soup section... Chowder and soups... haha!!!...

Has it ever occurred to you that Gmail constantly monitors your mails??!!!... yes, they do!!!... that's what i think... there was this instance when my colleague sent me an article about Viagra for editing (i work in a health mag... we come across a lot of such stuff very often...)... and then, for the next few days, i constantly began getting advertisements regarding Viagra brands!!... anyways, off late, Gmail has been monitoring all my 'flirtatious' moves and has now begun sending me marriage proposals from girls across the country... yeah, on an average, i receive about 3-4 proposals in a day!!...

There used to be a time when back in school, sometime around the tenth or eleventh grade, almost 70% of the people in my school were die-hard fans of Linkin Park...  i have no idea why... i used to like Limp Bizkit more... again, i have no idea why!... i guess i was just sick of the way the guys @ Linkin Park act cooler than they are supposed to be... Mike Shinoda the 'Sober Guy'... Chester the 'Genius who can Scream'... the turntable guy who was the 'Asian Dumb Vegetable' (talking about Asians... i was talking to my friend who recently migrated to the UK... and i asked him whether he'd made any indian friends yet... and he replied saying that he was yet to make indian friends, but had already made quiet a lot of Asian friends... i've always wondered why non-Asians consider only people with slanting eyes as Asians... we indians are Asians too, damnit!)... and while we're at it, here's a video for all you Linkin Park fans out there!!!.... yenjaayyy!!...



and... here's another one!!!... lol...



Sheeeeesh!... that's it for now... August is coming up... a lot to look forward to... i hope i get lucky this month... my luck and intelligence have always been two quantities that are inversely proportional to each other... right now, at this point of time, my intelligence levels are at a decent high, which is why i am going through a bad patch, thanks to my bad luck... thus, the least i can say is, i'm hoping i get back to being stupid again pretty soon!!!... lol... ciao!!!...

Oh... and amidst all the excitement, i managed to bump in to Mr. Sunny Thomas as well... seeing him brought back all the memories of all the "hunndra parcent suare" questions that we used to have in our math papers!... ciao again!...

The Past 10 Days

Short Version : Wikipedia... Editorial day out... senior ISMer... house hunting... stupid girl & hot girl... Columbia Pictures... workkkkkk... drencheddddd...

Bet you've understood nothing from the 'short version'... so, here's the.......

DETAIL VERSION (!!!!) : i've been screwing my brain real hard and thinking about what it takes to be on wikipedia (even Sarah Jane Dias is on wiki!!.... she's my senior from school btw... every morning on my way to office, i stare at the huge hoarding with her heavenly face on it... truly a masterpiece!)... i've been seeing too much of wikipedia in the past 8-10 months, that i suddenly feel it's really cool to be featured in the site!

then there was the Editorial Board's day out... my teammates, their boyfriends and good ol' me! (don't ask me what was i doing there! it didn't seem this odd then!)... a quiet movie, preceded by nothing, and followed by nothing.... the movie - Kerala Cafe.... made somewhat on the lines of Dus Kahaniyan, with ten stories and stuff (of course, atleast 8 of the 10 movies were crap in the mallu one... haven't watched the hindi one)... oh, and add to it the joy of meeting a fellow ISMer! (one of Nixxx's friends is an ex-ISMer...).... sigh... i wonder what's going on at ISM these days (in case you're still wondering what ISM is, it's Indian School Muscat)... the last thing i heard about ISM was the "evolution" of the students there... it has become real cool (for the guys) to wear their pants below their knees, and wear bangles covering atleast half their forearm!! (i'd rather not talk about the girls!)... the limits of 'cool'-ness!!....

then there was the house-hunting session with dad... apparently the area i stay in looks like a garbage dumpyard to him... for the first time, he found the interior of my house MUCH better when compared to the exterior!

and finally(!), the (five-hour) bus ride to cochin from home... the stupid girl and the hot girl.... first the stupid girl... a particularly ugly female sitting diagonally in front of me, out of nowhere, suddenly opened up her laptop and started watching movies! (even though it was a perfectly normal thing for a human being to do, it sadly seemed out-of-place to me)... considering the aged men sitting around her, i came to the conclusion that she was trying to impress me... geeeeee... if in case she WAS trying to do so, the sad-ass movie she was watching, was definitely not one that could be used to impress a guy!!! (come to think about it, i wouldn't have been impressed even if she were watchin American Pie!!!)... then there's the hot girl, who was sitting in front of me (ha! she had no idea who was sitting behind her!!)... a striking contrast of the stupid girl... she had such a heavenly voice!! (she was flirting with her boyfriend over the phone almost throughout the journey... sigh....)... the hot girl, her voice and the air-conditioning was putting me in a really embarrassing situation!!...

over the weekend i've managed to make an astonishing discovery that could change the lives of millions across the globe!!... Columbia Pictures... the secret is finally out!!... pick up a movie made by Columbia Pictures... at the beginning of the movie, when they show the Columbia Pictures thingy, with the lady holding the lamp... watch closely next to her right arm... in the clouds, there's an impression of a chubby, sleeping man!!!... i bet none of you had noticed that before!!! (or am i the tubelight here???)

and at the end of it all, i'm back here in office, staring at the wall, visualising my pile of work that's left for me to do... hmmm... i wonder how depressing it would have been if we didn't have computers, and had to stare at actual pile of papers!

sigh.... the rains are back again... along with haunting memories... why?? why?? why?? why can't there ever be a rainless year in india? why can't it snow instead??....

gotta go...... sighhhh......

Last Days & First Days

Finally!! change has arrived... my last day at TIME, first day at Au Courant Publishers, and most importantly, the last day of the Crazy Bus Guy!...

It was definitely an emotional farewell yesterday at TIME... i got extremely emotional after my wallet got half emptied after my farewell treat... hehe!!!... anyways, it was time to say goodbye to TIME... (ok... that was lame!)... oh... TIME stands for Triumphant Institute of Management Education.. i don't know whether i should be calling the guy (who coined the abbreviation) a genius or a nuthead!! so... that's it about my time at TIME! (again... L.. A.. M.. E..!!!!)

Then, there's the Crazy Bus Guy... thankfully, i won't be seeing anymore of him... ok here's the story about the CBG... since my mom thinks that i'm crash-prone, she wouldn't let me take the car to classes... so i used to commute by the local blue buses... (blue is such a pleasant colour on the buses... i seriously have no idea why buses in TN are coloured an irritating green... but then, Tamlians never had any sense of colour... their favorite colour is fluorescent yellow!!!... one of the apartment buildings i stayed in (during college days), was fluorescent pink!!... i used to get blinded everytime i went home!!... another thing i've never been able to figure out is why, in the whole of kerala, only Cochin's buses are red... and that too, not a mellow, pleasant red, but a red colour similar to the colour of paan that has been chewed and spat!) (speaking of buses, Muscat used to have those massive air-conditioned beauties that used to run with a sound like wind blowing through trees... though i've never got into one.. in all those years!!!.... ha!!!.. who needs them anyways in Muscat, when every Tom, Dick and Harry owns a Hummer or atleast a Corolla!!!).. now, in front of my TIME coaching centre, there's a traffic signal... all i have to do is step out of my bus and walk a few yards to the building... but if the signal's green, it's a long way back!.. on my first day in the bus, as the bus was approaching the signal, i was about to get up and get out of the bus, when another guy jumped up from his seat and got to the floorboard before me and waited, under the sign that read (in bold) "DO NOT STAND ON THE FLOORBOARD", for the bus to stop. the bus stopped, and he got down... and just as i was about to get out, the signal turned green and the bus sped off... i cursed the guy, and was determined to beat the guy the next day... so the next day, i got up well before the signal, and stood on the floorboard under the sign that read, in bold, "DO NOT STAND ON THE FLOORBOARD"... (sigh... we indians nah... perhaps if the sign read "PLEASE STAND ON THE FLOORBOARD", no one would have bothered to go even close to the floorboard!!)... but it wasn't a "sunny" day for me that day... the signal was green and the bus didn't slow a bit... so, neither me nor the CBG got down... (the funny thing about bus drivers is that if they see someone trying to get down from a bus, they step on to the accelerator and speed up the bus as much as they possibly can... like as if they're trying to make the whole situation more thrilling... perhaps they enjoy watching a guy jump off the bus and run straight into a lamp post, or get run over by a car!!!...).... this went on for a couple of days... everyday i would reach the floorboard first, only to find out that the signal was green... around the tenth time or so, the CBG got to the floorboard much before i did, looked at me, said "why do you keep trying?!!", and gave me a look that was the equivalent of "if you dare to get out of the bus before me once more, i swear i'll be eating your intestines for dinner!!"... that's the Crazy Bus Guy for you!!!... i'm very much relieved that my intestines are still intact, and that i won't be seeing him again!!!

Monday's my first day at Au Courant Publishers.... hope everything goes smooth and fine!!....

Monsoon Blues

it's been a week since the end of the IPL frenzy... it's been pretty peaceful ever since!!... no more of weird accronyms like CSK, RCB, DD etc... no more of the very "smart and illustrious" Lalit Modi.... no more of the mediocre anchoring and 'Mandy'!!!.... and sadly no more of the hot cheergirls either.. (bah!)... anyways looks like it wont last much long, with the world cup coming up in less than a week!!!... cricket... cricket... cricket... so annoying!!...

hmmmm... looks like good ol' recessions hitting me pretty hard... even though i see "the" shimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, i'm taking real long to approach it... and thanks to my seizure last tuesday, i'm not even allowed to go anywhere beyond a 10km radius from my apartment!!!... so it's pretty much like a house arrest.... sigh... since i'm spending so much time at home, atleast its helped in finally making my bedroom look like a bedroom!!!.... till a month back, the only things in my entire bedroom was a bed and my mom's sewing machine (my mom's ultra modern sewing machine, mind you!!... not one of those black types, which those tailors use, with brand names like 'butterfly' or 'eagle' or the sorts... this one's got a sleazy black handheld electronic controller with a cluster of push buttons... k i guess that's enough about the sewing machine...)... my perfectionist mom wouldn't tolerate a drop of water on the floor, let alone a piece of paper!!... anyways, now that i've been spending 'quality' time at home, the floor is strewn with clothes, dirty floaters and shoes, then there's a lizard in the room and the sewing machine has now officially become my medicine rack... yeah.... there're loads of medicines... during monsoons, my immunity levels are usually at an all-time low.... oh!... something on the lighter side.... i was driving around today morning and i saw this very huge mongoose waiting to make a dash across the road... (let me remind you that it's always been a fascination for me to kill a cat by running over it with a car... though i've never got the opportunity to do so..)... so now here i was!!... with a ripe opportunity... even though it wern't a cat, a mongoose was a substitute good enough... however, the smart mongoose was already making smart plans... it'd figured that, at the speed i was driving, it'd have enough time to clear the road and wave back at me... poor thing!!... it jumped!!... and i jumped onto the accelerator!!.... CRUNCHCHCHCHCH!!!!.... the head was flatter than my mom's chapattis and was pasted to the ground... i slowed the car and watched the action through the rear view mirror... the mongoose's remaining body was twisting and turning rapidly (in pain, i guess! lol!!)... anyways, that's the story about the ill-fated mongoose... oh... recently i was reading this book by an indian author... it kinda made me wonder... almost all low key celebrities (those who're less gossipped about) usually are stuck in a job that todally sux... and their bosses are total whackos, who need their heads to be chopped off!!!.... and these celebs usually have a weird nickname for the boss... (in this case it was 'Shruti the Horrible'... ok no prizes for guessing the name of the book!).... since everyone's doing so, even ive decided to follow suit... (i like to consider myself a celebrity 'cos, for one, i'm bad at handling relationships, and two 'cos ive been on TV twice... the first time was in my first year during our college's strike... a large number of us were moving out of the college as a group, and a reporter was interviewing two of my friends in the front... and i was frantically jumping up and down and waving at the camera from the back... thus i made my TV debut on CNN-IBN.... the second time was in my 3rd year, i think... VG and i had gone for a play... and after the play, SS music was taking a video of the crowd gathered outside.... and i managed to make a 1.2 second cameo.... even though offers have been pouring in after that for TV appearances, due to my busy schedule, i haven't been able to accept any...)... since currently i'm jobless and don't have a boss, ive decided to name my ex-boss... the boss, who was my boss for a single working day, the next non-working day (i took leave that day), and the next half day i got fired... so two and a quarter days to be precise... hmmm... his name was Doug... it used to be funny the way pandis used to pronounce his name!!... 'Duck-uh' was how they did it!!... bah... these pandis!... anyways, abt the name for Doug.... hmmm... i guess Doug the Bug should do... haha!!!... weird!!!.... (hehe... Doug was a nice guy actually.... sad he didn't approve much of my blogging 'skills'...)

oh... i was walking down the streets today and i saw this poster of a new malbari movie... looks like 'Mollywood' is trying to cash in on the Slumdog Millionaire success.... i can't recollect the name of the movie, but i can clearly remember the catch phrase of the movie - "Story of a dog and a millionaire"... gawd!!!... these mallus!!....

***********************************

phew!... i just got through with a very entertaining session in church!!... (the sunday service actually)... back in college, attending church use to be a 'once-in-6-months' affair... now thanks to my mother's persistence, i attend church every weekend!!... anyways, the church has certainly evolved and become more fun over the years... back in the 90s, going to church only meant sitting, standing, kneeling and lip-synching... but these days, a lot of fun activities are also included during mass... one of the more popular games is 'Locate Your Parent'... but this one's strictly for kids below age 3... but if your kid's retarded, a special consideration is given upto 5years of age... the rules of the game are pretty simple... the kid has to first decide which parent he wants to stick to (in india, men and women are made to sit separately.. even if the woman is the guy's wife/mother/sister/aunty/gramma/mistress)... then the kid has to memorise the exact location of its parent... the kid then has to run around all over the church... as fast as it can... extra points are earned for beating up other kids, stepping on others' feet and walking through pews... after a minute or two, the real fun starts.... the kid has to retrace its way back to its parent... a time limit of 10mins is set... if the kid doesn't locate its parent by then, it loses the game and it has to stop and scream at the top of its lungs till its parents begin to flush with embarrassment... for those people without kids and over 15yrs of age and not retarded, the best way to keep you occupied is to take out your mobile and browse or play games on it... but this is absolutely not suited for people (like me) with 'uninteresting' fones (like mine) with games like snake, tetris etc... the third and most popular activity, suited for people like me (categorised 'cos of my fone) and old age people, is to go to sleep!!.... but you should be alert enough to stand and kneel at the right times... and it can be really embarrassing if you begin drooling on your shirt, let alone the shirt of the person sitting next to you!!...

come to think about it, these activities are allowed only in indian churches.... back in muscat, there used to be enough number of 'scantily-clad' chicks to keep us distracted... (sometimes when you think about it, it's funny how almost all the guys in my school were perverts, even the toppers!!!... but then... look at what fine gentlemen we turn out to be!!!... we owe ISM big time!!!...).... but the disadvantage is that it can be a real embarrassment if you're seated with your parents... and more so if the chick is your friend!!!!.... lol!!!.....

Peace Out!!!!!!

World Cup!!!!.... Pizza Anyone????

this was way back in my 7th grade when the cricket world cup '99 was on....
Pizza Hut had come up with a brainwave (like duh!).....
to keep up with the festive season, they introduced a special hotline number on which people could call them up and get the live score, who's batting, bowling blah blah... what i don't understand is why they did that!!!!.... especially in a country so full of indians!!!!.... (yeah... muscat is pretty crowded with indians!!!!).....
being the typical indian type when it comes to pranks, i made maximum use of the number.... even though the match was playing in front of me on my television!!!!... i kept calling them up after every one or two overs.... so it'd go like this...
Pizza Hut Employee: good evening sir!!! how may i help u???
me: hi!!... may i know the score???
PHE: it's 235 for 2 sir.... sachin tendulkar is on strike....
me: oh... hey a run's been scored!!!... it's 236 now!!!!....
PHE: that's right!!!... thanks for calling!!!!.... have a great day!!!...

this would go on till the end of the match... and i bet there were many more indians who'd done that!!!.... what's the point in keeping such hotlines, when every household owns atleast one television??!!!!!.... or did the Pizza Hut guys think that when people called up Pizza Hut to enquire about the score, they'd get reminded about pizzas and automatically ask fer some??!!!!....
whatever it is, i din't hear about the offer during the next world cup.... or maybe i realised i was too old for that kind of stupid prank this time round.... i don't exactly remember....

It's Diwaliiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!........

bah.... i hate diwali....
such a noisy festival....
i used to enjoy diwali much more when i was back in Muscat!!!!.... 'cos no idiot was allowed to burst crackers!!!!....
ah crackers..... i just hate them!!!!....
why do people spend so much money on all this shit just to burst them all off??!!!!....
my entire building tenants are down there bursting off their money...
crap!!!... there's my mom and sis too!!!!....
what's with these people???!!!!.....

ISM

indian school muscat....
that's the school i studied in....
the place where i had the best part of my life!!!!....
the place where failures never killed me!!!!....
the place where weirdos are a minority....
the place where exams don't mean the end of your life....
the place where making friends doesn't always mean you have to go for the guy whose topping the class....
the place where even if the teachers hate you, you still like them in the long run.... (unless they really really really hate you!!!!....)....
the place where lonely losers are put into a corner....
the place where everything happens....
school was great!!!....
college is not!!!!
*sigh..................................
that's my school by the way.... or a block of it rather.... the senior block....