Somebody I Used To Know

Every now and then, there's a special person who comes along to remind you that the world is not such a bad place..
And then they leave..
Leaving you right in the middle of the wilderness..
Confused..
Broken..........

Where The Good Times Gone...

"Dude, why don't you ever smile?"

A question i've been asked on so many occasions in the past few weeks... And my answer??... Simply put, i've decided not to fake anymore.. All the fake smiling so far has put my jaws in pain, and i've decided to put an end to the misery.. These fair-weather friends with their pseudo friendships don't even deserve my fakest of fake smiles..

YES!!!... I am having a very bad day, if you haven't noticed so far... Sucked up day at work, disappointment, power failure - all the psychological tortures I can possibly imagine [post edit: actually not! I can imagine a lot more psychological forms of tortures!]...

I had wanted to mention this on my blog a while back, but it slipped my mind.. A couple of weeks back, I was invited by my colleague to his father's retirement party (!!!)... I was really curious about how people celebrated their retirement, so I decided to attend the function... I had half expected it to be a function where people quietly come in, shake hands with the retired person, murmur a tiny conversation with the other people gathered at the function and then leave... Trust me, I was taken in for a huge surprise when I reached the place... So much to the point that I wasn't sure whether I was at the retirement function or a marriage party!... There was loud music, singing, food, blah blah... I don't really get the point!!!... The very next day after your retirement would have to arguably be one of the most depressing days of your life!!!... The fact that you are done with everything and that you are simply waiting to hit the grave is going to haunt you right till, errr... your grave???... I don't find any reason in celebrating the fact that you are going to sleep till afternoon every day, and the only work you have is looking after the roses in your front yard!!!...

Oh btw... If you are taking in a lot of pressure at work and you own a good phone (and not the moronic ones that won't even allow you to check your mail), check out 'Mutant Roadkill'... The game is an absolute joy if you have a violent mofo hidden deep inside you... It's been helping me a lot these days... Everytime I need to release my frustration, I simply pick up my phone, open the game, run over 200 to 300 mutants and then get back to what I was doing... IT WORKS!!!

[Post Edit - Aug12] - Just got back from the company's badminton "tournament"... ahhh the cockhead (called so, little because of the shape of his head, and more because of the kind of person he is!) and his teammate ended up winning it... on the brighter side - played badminton for the first time in my life...

On a signing-off note...

I HATE THIS PLACE.....

(phew!... feeling much better now... no, actually not!... sigh...)

Twerps Of The Other Side

Watching the silly twerps around me outsmart their co-twerps while the lesser significant twats suck it up to them is even more annoying than watching a bunch of slimey frogs fight it out over a squiggly leech...

Ahhh... i'm getting good at this... life on this side of the wall... is as good as ever!... watching them from far far away gives me all the evil joys i could possibly ask for!... maybe i should get myself a recliner couch... and a tub of popcorn perhaps... oooh how i miss the popcorn from Shatti Cinema... Muscat... the caramel-coated soft oozlings from heaven... ahhh... home...

4:34am... sigh... sleep is so imaginary these days... far far far from reality... for all you know, i might just collapse one day... and then, i shall sleep forever.............

PS: in case you are wondering what a 'Brain Shpongle' is, it is what i call the condition of my brain after 2am... the time after which it goes into total 'dead-mode'...

Weak End

Gahhhh... it's the weekend again... somehow the last weekend of a month is something i never look forward to... perhaps it's because i'm absolutely cash-strapped by then... it's two of those days in the month when i sleep and i sleep and i sleep, hoping the day would just pass by... i miss those days in college when a weekend either meant meeting up with the guys or a stroll along the beach with the girl (guess that's the only part of college i'll ever miss)... all that's happening now on weekends is depressing music and even more depressing movies...

Life has now come to a standstill... it's not good, it's not bad... just somewhere in the middle... it won't improve, neither will it deteriorate... there's absolutely nothing to look forward to... the light at the end of the tunnel is still a tiny, shimmering spark...

Perhaps it's time.........

Hydey-Hydey-Ho!

Ok this post is special... very special in fact... first, because i'm returning to the blog after a very long time.. i guess this is the longest i've stayed away from the blog... me returning to the blog and making a resolution to post more frequently on every occasion reminds me of something else... the times when we used to come down from the 'Gelf'... every year we came down, the house here was in a mess.. cobwebs, broken furniture, plaster falling apart, signs of break-ins and more... and every time we clean up the mess and repair the house... by the time we're leaving, mom n dad make a resolution to take more care of the house and repair it more frequently... and yet, we come down the next year and it's the same story all over again! anyways, moving over to the second reason... this is the first time i'm going to visit hyderabad... and the third reason... this is the first time i'm blogging live... as and when things happen...

For starters, this is a thirty-hour journey... after an initial half hour confusion regarding the status of my ticket, i'm finally settled down... before boarding the train, i'd made the decision not to eat much until i reach hyd... but then, the craving for steaming vadas made me eat a crappy dosa and the soggy vada that came with it... so much for breakfast!... wonder what crap is in store for lunch...

Just woke up from an extended nap... (started off with a serving of bad news... a good friend's (from work) dad passed away...) i've been glancing at my watch every two minutes for the past 45 minutes... still about 24hours to go!!!... how do people survive for so long in a train??... ah i guess i'll know by the time i reach tomorrow... meanwhile, the girl sitting next to the window (no... she's not a Girl By The Window... yet) looks 'interesting' and 'not interested' at the same time... note the two usages of 'interest' used here...

Just entered Tamilnadu... i am forced to relive all the horrors of train journeys during college days... stinking beggars who keep touching you, half-naked kids, people eating pongal and sambhar endlessly... gahh... i hate this... i really hope i won't have to encounter a eunuch... it's the worst of all evils....

Darkness is setting in... i can still see we're stuck somewhere in tamilnadu from the vast stretches of barren land on both sides of the train, dotted with the occasional pink, green and yellow houses... i've embarrassed myself well enough so far with the zillion bangings of my head on the iron bar next to my head while asleep... i know that because every time my phone buzzes and my sleep is disturbed and i open my eyes, i see the people sitting around me staring at me with a sympathetic smile that reads "poor retarded you"...

Dinner time... everyone's proudly unpacking their newpaper-covered dinner... the excitement on their faces is similar to that of a five-year old unpacking his birthday present excited to see what's inside... hell i know what's going to be in their packages!!.. it's just a huge pile of rice and perhaps, some sambhar??...

Well... several 'dal vadas' and 'banana fries' later (i'd promised myself not to eat anything so that my tummy would hold up till i reach some accommodation in hyderabad with a decent toilet... but then, i'd ended up eating more 'dal vadas' and 'banana fries' than i would in a week!!!... talk about me and keeping promises!!), i have finally reached the place - HYDERABAD!!!...

For the past couple of minutes, i've been attempting to dodge auto drivers by pretending to be a very busy person waiting for a friend/driver to come and pick me up... the city is pretty much in between bengaluru and chennai, look-n-feel wise... i am walking out of the railway station and onto the telugu streets, still pretending to be a busy person... i am trying every person i know who has a connection with hyderabad, but the best response i've been able to gather so far is 'use Google Maps'!!!... so then, i continue walking down the streets till i reach a row of hotels, to my luck!!... and now, here i am... checked in to Hotel Meena Classic (is what i think the receptionist said the name was...)...

Moved into my room, watched tv for a while, and now back on the streets... just remembered i'd dropped my toothbrush on the train bathroom floor, and so, it was time to get a new one... i walk to the nearest auto driver and ask him if he knows where the nearest supermarket is... and he says 'no'!... ok... strange!!... i continue walking... and walking... oh did i forget to mention it was drizzling earlier??... well, it's pouring now!... i walk to the nearest Baskin Robbins and take shelter in front of it... the shopkeeper is outside too... just to make small conversation and to ensure that he doesn't drive me away, i ask him if he knows where the nearest supermarket is... and there he begins his detailed explanation of the route to a supermarket that is galaxies away... i hadn't realized supermarkets were so hard to find in hyderabad... maybe i should make use of Google Maps, like my friend suggested!!... my train of wandering thoughts is suddenly interrupted... not by the shopkeeper... but by an Assamese mom and her 3 kids... she just ran to the front of a shop, to take shelter, on the opposite side of the road... after she looks around for about five seconds, our eyes finally meet... and almost immediately, i know i'm in love... until an auto arrives, she gets in, and drives away... BAM!!!... that was just the opportunity to kickstart a 'worthwhile' life in hyderabad, and i'd just washed it away in the rain... sigh...

I pick up another auto and instruct him to go to the nearest supermarket... it takes us a good fifteen minutes to reach a damn supermarket!!... he offers to wait until i'm done with my shopping and take me back... i reluctantly agree (auto drivers are never upto any good... if they're being nice, it only means they've found means of making an extra buck, through you...)... i finish shopping and i get out and he's still there waiting for me in the heavy rain... i ask him to stop at a good biriyani place on the way... (hyderabadi biriyani is the ultimate stuff, according to my telugu roomies in college)...

I clearly remember ordering a single biriyani, but the parcel that has just arrived is good enough to feed two starving families in Bosnia!!... i politely ask the shop owner to give me a smaller pack (extra politeness because from what i've seen in movies, telugus aren't the kind you would want to mess with... they may just draw out their sword and slash you into pieces)... i finally get a 'mini' biriyani, which is still good enough to feed a single starving family in Bosnia!!... i decide not to ask them to make it smaller, and quietly walk out into the rain... i take the same auto back to my hotel room...

I just realized that the time is 6.30!!!... there's a long way to go in the evening... i decide to grab a beer from the nearest beverages store... 


Back in my room, i just caught a cold reception from the receptionist when i asked him for an opener... apparently, such a huge hotel does not have an opener!!!... i finally open my beer with a pair of scissors that i had brought down... my plan is to drink myself to sleep early, so that i'm fresh in the morning tomorrow...

And it's morrrrninnnngggg!!!... ahhhh... steaming hot water in the shower... awesome!!... ok ok... it's not as pleasant as I'm trying to make it sound... it was actually "FAAAAAA!!!!.... steaming hot water! WTF!!!"... yes i almost got scalded in the shower... anyways... it's time to check out... and get on with what i came here for...

300bux??!!!!... you've got to be kidding me!!... 300bux to get to where i want to go by auto!!... i bargain for about 15minutes and we finally settle for 200bux... i reach my place and what do i see??... hyderabad's F-Lounge is right next door!!... ssssweet!!!... i walk into my place at 10.20am...

7.30pm... i'm finally done with whatever i came for... exhausted i step out into the light drizzle... damn these auto guys... they're just impossible to deal with!... 350bux to get back home!!... no friggin way!!... i wait and i wait and i wait... till finally... 180bux... an auto guy offers to take me to my place for 180bux!!!... MORONNNN!!!... ha!... ahhh... but he doesn't seem like an idiot after all!!.. he takes in another family for 150bux, and reduces my fare to 150bux too!... all the more good for me!!... the 'family' consists of a woman and her two daughters... it's raining harder and it's getting even colder... the driver is stopping for some hot hyderabadi tea... as we sit sipping the piping hot tea in the auto, one of the daughters finally breaks the silence and decides to talk to me... and then she gets talking... and talking... about her engineering scores, her current training, her dream of moving to the US... she keeps talking and talking till i finally start pretending like i'm getting a lot of phone calls... the trio finally get down and i move into a hotel room... the second one in two days... after a rather heavy dinner (trust me, food in hyderabad is always way too much!!.. if you are ordering food for yourself, make sure you have two people with you to share it!!... i've been wasting a lot of food over the two days here...), i'm finally settling in to sleep... it's midnight already... nothing interesting on tv.....

Back in a train... the long journey back... my mind is so full of questions... will i???... won't i???... yet another seat next to the emergency window... (when i came to hyderabad too i was seated next to an emergency window) perhaps it's someone sending out a signal... gahhh... i hope there's no bomb on this train... if there is one, i might have to extend my leave at work... that wouldn't go down really well with the boss... i might lose the job... the trauma of the train blast and now the added trauma of losing my job would make me mentally retarded... and then my... wait a minute!!!... i'm already mentally retarded!!!... so what difference does this make??!!!... ok ok... i need to stop... my thoughts have gone far far away...

The train ride back looks like it's going to be a boring one... not that the train ride i took the day before was particularly interesting, but still... the grandpa at the other end of my seat is already sleeping... Dr. Raj Kumar i recall his name was from the reservation list... yes, just like any mallu of my age, i too have the habit of going through the entire reservation list to see if there's anyone in my vicinity of around my same age... great!!... this telugu couple with a baby just walked in... they're sitting next to me... a baby!!!... A STUPID BABY!!... this means i'll have to put up with the stupid baby's crying and the stupider parents antics till the idiots get down!!... ahhh my iPod!!.. always comes to my rescue... now i can't hear anything that the... no! no! wait! NOOOO!!!!!...great... the iPod's battery is dead!!... damn you Apple!...

It feels weird in a way that i'm seeing all the places that i saw two days ago back in reverse... most of the places are still fresh in my mind... the kid sittting in front of me won't stop talking... she has doubts about everything she sees outside... even after realizing that her mom is clueless about most things, she just won't give up!!... and yes... that stupid baby is still screaming her lungs out!... why? why? whyyyyyy?

It's 1.30... 24 hours more to go... why is everyone staring at the baby and commenting on everything she does??!!!... makes it look it is some endangered species that has been imported from Lithuania...

So now two of them are talking about their past visits to the US... i love the way the telugu guy pronounces Manhattan as 'Maan-hutton'... gawddd... indians!!!.. meanwhile, the stupid baby's stupid parents are trying to put it off to sleep... funny thing is they're singing "ooo-la-la ooo-la-la thu hai meri fantasy" and "kolaveri" to put it to sleep!... fathetic...

Religion, kids, temples, doctors, saris, illayaraja... the range of topics these 'intellectuals' discuss is endless!!!... every once in a while i'm dragged into the conversation, and then i pretend like i'm getting a text and i slowly drift away from the discussion...

Ok joke of the evening!!... this fat guy (who's part of the 'intellectual discussion') tells this female (who's also part of the 'intellectual discussion') that he'll show her something, gets up and bends down to reach into his bag... and what does he show her??... a full-blown view of his humongous ass!!!... i can't control my laughter... oh gawd... i'm going to burst.... somebody hold meeeeee!!!!.....

I just noticed that the female sitting in front of me looks like a crow from the side!!!...

The sad part about traveling in air-conditioned compartments in trains: no open windows through which you can throw your garbage out (yeah c'mon, i'm an indian too!!)... the good part: good food - even the veg food has paneer in it!!!...

Great!!!... it's time for bed and the stupid baby has puked all over the place!!!... the dad is now cleaning up the entire place with the bedsheets that were supposed to be slept on... and while he's at it, he's also giving us a generous view of his humongous ass!!...

Aaahhhh anyways... i'm done for the night... yet another night of the hyderabad episode... i'm all tucked away into the lower berth... ahhh lower berth after so many years... i remember the last time i got the lower berth was back in my third year of college, when i secretly watched my batchmate getting 'molested' in the dark till cops came in and threw the molester guy out!!...

It's morning!!!... in just a few more hours i'm going to reach cochin!!... all the noisemakers who were sitting around me have left, which has come across as a huge relief... the picturesque view rushing past my window makes me feel thoroughly welcome to God's own country (yeah, God alone knows what lies in wait for me in this country place!!)...

I guess i'm done with all the shockers for this trip... just this last one... the guy sitting next to me, a 25-year old MBBS student, his laptop's touchpad ain't working... he looks up at me and asks, "dude, do you know what the shortcut for closing a window is?"...

Bahhh... these specimens will never cease to amaze me... anyways i'm over and out... i'm only minutes away from my destination... updates on the outcome of my hyderabad trip will be posted soon... that is, IF the outcome is in my favor... ;)... ciao!


PS: Thanks to Evernote for making this post a success!... guys with a good Android phone should try it out!


PPS: Pls forgive any typos you may find in this post, i'd typed the whole thing on my phone... not an easy job to do... and pls don't try informing me about any typos either... honestly speaking, i don't care!

Coincidences & The End Of The World

I meet one of my colleagues' girlfriends and her striking similarity with one of my schoolmates immediately hits me... so much that I loudly remark about it... and then I come home and I get a text... from a schoolmate who's come down to India from Canada for holidays... and this schoolmate was the exact same schoolmate who I thought looked like my colleague's girlfriend... coincidence??... the limits of it I'd say!...

And then there's the other coincidence too... the sad one... V's getting married... Ghostrider II is out... I send a "hi... long time!" mail to V just a week before she gets engaged... yes... 2012 is the year of the apocalypse, and the end of (my) world has just happened...

Funny thing... the day my friend tells me about the engagement, I was watching this crappy movie (which I think was called 'Vinaythandi Veruvaaya') about a Christian mallu and a Tamil Hindu... the guy is an engineering student, and the girl is the older one... both want to get married but fear opposition from society... and in the end they part ways... coincidence again???...

And oh yeah... thanks to an idiot friend of mine, the fact that I'm "schizophrenic" is published in our office newsletter, and the whole world "knows".... great!!... 

Supermarket Girl

The moment I lay my eyes upon you
I knew you were the next GBT window
One moment you were there, the next out of view
Tryin' desperately to avoid the hungry glances that fell upon thou.


When you changed lanes I should have known
That cover all I had was fully blown
But then if I'd opened my mouth n gone with the flow
No more would you have been a girl by the window.


Yes, that's how life has been so far
Never attempting to get at par
You're gone once and for all
And here I am, yet again having failed to take the call...

2012 - The Last Year

New Year's eve has never been so good
Out of nowhere you appeared
The pain in you eyes were all but indicative
Of the plain fact that you were waiting to be rescued...



It's 2012!!... supposedly our last year on earth... I guess there's quite a lot to be done this year then... time to pen down... THE BUCKET LIST....

And of course, New Year was "goooooooooood"....... :)