Where The Good Times Gone...

"Dude, why don't you ever smile?"

A question i've been asked on so many occasions in the past few weeks... And my answer??... Simply put, i've decided not to fake anymore.. All the fake smiling so far has put my jaws in pain, and i've decided to put an end to the misery.. These fair-weather friends with their pseudo friendships don't even deserve my fakest of fake smiles..

YES!!!... I am having a very bad day, if you haven't noticed so far... Sucked up day at work, disappointment, power failure - all the psychological tortures I can possibly imagine [post edit: actually not! I can imagine a lot more psychological forms of tortures!]...

I had wanted to mention this on my blog a while back, but it slipped my mind.. A couple of weeks back, I was invited by my colleague to his father's retirement party (!!!)... I was really curious about how people celebrated their retirement, so I decided to attend the function... I had half expected it to be a function where people quietly come in, shake hands with the retired person, murmur a tiny conversation with the other people gathered at the function and then leave... Trust me, I was taken in for a huge surprise when I reached the place... So much to the point that I wasn't sure whether I was at the retirement function or a marriage party!... There was loud music, singing, food, blah blah... I don't really get the point!!!... The very next day after your retirement would have to arguably be one of the most depressing days of your life!!!... The fact that you are done with everything and that you are simply waiting to hit the grave is going to haunt you right till, errr... your grave???... I don't find any reason in celebrating the fact that you are going to sleep till afternoon every day, and the only work you have is looking after the roses in your front yard!!!...

Oh btw... If you are taking in a lot of pressure at work and you own a good phone (and not the moronic ones that won't even allow you to check your mail), check out 'Mutant Roadkill'... The game is an absolute joy if you have a violent mofo hidden deep inside you... It's been helping me a lot these days... Everytime I need to release my frustration, I simply pick up my phone, open the game, run over 200 to 300 mutants and then get back to what I was doing... IT WORKS!!!

[Post Edit - Aug12] - Just got back from the company's badminton "tournament"... ahhh the cockhead (called so, little because of the shape of his head, and more because of the kind of person he is!) and his teammate ended up winning it... on the brighter side - played badminton for the first time in my life...

On a signing-off note...

I HATE THIS PLACE.....

(phew!... feeling much better now... no, actually not!... sigh...)

Losing My Sanity

Knucklebrains!!!!... they are always there... wherever I go... and their standards keeps dropping with each place................ my 20k songs.............. they're all gone...... sigh.....

Anyways... here we are.. in the month of August... and what's special about August??... for starters, it's the worst month this year!!!... there's not "much" work to do, people are damaging my stuff, losing a lot of friends and all the shit that could possibly happen... on the brighter side, I was at this this miniature batch reunion at JJ's place... not my batch, but his batch... and I must say it was a blast... ahhhh... speaking of JJ's batchmates, it's amazing how these guys from the pre-Facebook era keep in touch so well... I've never really understood the basic protocol of being busy... you send your friend a mail (or a wall post), you have to wait for at least a month to get a response... it's even worse in office, when you send a mail to a colleague who's sitting a few cubicles away... once you're done with the sending, you have to walk over to his cubicle and beg him to check your mail and respond!... (I don't really get the point of sending a mail in those cases!)... ah well... speaking of work... we've been having a lot of new guys coming in off late, it's really hard to keep track... it's like those days in college... where the Tamil guys and the North Indian guys didn't know the names of guys from the opposite community... (but being an NRI mallu puts you right in the middle of both the communities (btw the other minority communities don't count - you're either a Tamil, or a North Indian, or an NRI mallu)... so that implies you have to learn the names of everyone from both the communities... which is quite taxing... sigh... the woes of an NRI mallu...) so the Tamils used to refer to the North Indian guys as 'andha Hindi paythyakaaran payyan' and the North Indians used to refer to the Tamils as 'Wo Parachute oil ki godown'... lol...

I guess I won't be back before Independence Day... so all those Indians out there, who are like really proud of the country... good for you!... I think I had something more in mind before I started writing this blog... or is it typing this blog... or should I say blogging this blog??!!!... lol... I'm really mind-fugged at the moment... my mind is so full of isolated thoughts that keep overlapping with each other... I was revising my game design document today, and I reached this part where I'd written - 'A cannon ball is seen attached to a dead skeleton'... (crazy as it may sound, it is a part of the game we're currently developing!... except for the 'dead' skeleton!)... I scrolled up to make sure there was no more idiotic stuff... and lo!... 'However, the cannon is found missing its balls'... come to think about it, it does make perfect sense, but then, the weirdism... and then there was this article I wrote - 'Ford Unleashes Performance Kit for Mustana'...

And so that's that... got nothing more... life's getting really boring and mundane here in Kochi... in short, Kochi pazhe Kochi alla, it's beginning to suck to the core...

Oh by the way, now that QR codes are the "in" thing, here's the QR code of my blog url... in case you guys are having a tough time passing on my url, you can simply pass on the QR code!!!!... smart me!!!... ;)

Unsociali-zinggggg...

(Wow!... it was only when I wrote the heading that I realised that there's a 'Zing' in unsocializing too!!...)

It's 2k11!!!... 11 years after the Y2K, and the world is running just as fine!... though I'm almost two weeks late, happy New Year to all the very very few people who actually read this blog!!... have a great year!!... we don't have much time left.... 2012's just a year away!...

Nothing much has happened in the past two weeks really... the company's New Year party was fun... games, singing, dancing, drinking, doing nothing, watching others have fun and a lot more... then there was the company guitarist belting out some numbers... oh and of course, there was Summer of '69... where there's mallus and rock music, there's always Summer of '69... I still remember last year's New Year party... there were people from just about everywhere in the world (though the majority was mallussss!)... it looked more like a World Cultural Conference than a New Year Party!... anyways there was this mallu rock band from somewhere in India... think it was Delhi... (mallus don't have the habit of staying back in Kerala and calling themselves 'Mallus' once they become famous... once/if I become famous, I intend on telling the world I'm from Bihar... or maybe Orissa... (Mumbai and Delhi have become too old and boring))... for the first three hours, everyone was seated at their respective tables while the band continued their singing... I could even hear a few aunties complaining, "Why can't these bledy fellows sing some malayalam songs??!!! who wants to listen to all this rubbish?!"... once the booze was out, a few uncles showed the courage to go forward and show off their dancing skills, which seemed very very inappropriate... Indians should never dance to a song that is not Indian... Rajnikant's 'Devuda Devuda' steps for 'Hotel California' is very very very weird!!!... anyways, the band finally decided to sing Summer of '69 around close to midnight... and that was when the crowd went wild... uncles and aunties were running around the place screaming... and... then.... and thennnn.... and then what?... and then nothing!... my point was, Indians are crazy about 'Summer of '69'... I somehow lost track in between... :P... ok back to the party... hmmm.... then there was nothing much... oh!!!... of course, there were the cheesecakes!!!.... which was a wonderful sight to behold... (after I moved out of Chennai, I have always been on the hunt for the perfect place for the perfect cheesecake... sadly, mallu bakers haven't even heard of cheesecakes, let alone the perfect one!)... a tear escaped from my eye when I saw the gazillion slices of cheesecakes spread lavishly over the dessert table... I was in a tranced up condition... I was transported far far away to Cheesecake Land... where I married Ms. Cheesecake, and we had several little Cheesecakes running around the house... we would eat cheesecakes for breakfast, cheesecakes for lunch, and cheesecakes for dinner... I would spend the night drinking gin and cheesecake juice... and when I fought with Mrs. Cheesecake, we would throw cheesecakes at each other... I was in this wonderful Cheesecake dream for a while, before I snapped back to reality... and then I went on to stuffing myself with cheesecakes...

I guess it's the hit I took today that's totally affected my thinking... I was taking a walk from the pantry to my desk at work today... when THUDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!! my shoulder crashed into a fire extinguisher hanging on the wall... no problem yet... and then there was a smaller THUD (with only a single 'D').... that was the noise of the fire extinguisher breaking from it's position on the wall and falling to the ground (under normal circumstances, that was supposed to set off the fire alarm for the entire building... luckily for me, the alarm wasn't working!)... and then there was silence... pin-drop silence... suddenly, a hundred heads turned up from their respective cubicles in unison and glared at only one thing... ME!!!!... a small group came rushing forward to see whether the fire extinguisher was alright... I screamed in pain inside my head... I almost expected my arm to fall off... anyways, now my arm's alright... but my brain has still not recovered from the trauma...

Woooo... it's 2011!!!... a whole new year!!... and it doesn't even feel like a new year... at this point of time, I'm going through the same mindframe that I was in back in 1999, when, for the first time in my life, I heard about the world going to end... at that time, throughout the year 1999 I was busy making plans to hide under the strongest table available to escape the world's fate... but that was then... right now, I'm busy calculating at what rate I should be saving up so that I can afford one of those spaceships for two which will transport my girl and me far far away to the moon....

PS.: for the idiots, New Year with the capital 'N' and 'Y' is the occasion, new year with the small 'n' and 'y' is... ermmm.... uhmmm.... the opposite of old year...

Happy Bday RJR!!!

...And so it is... my last few hours as a 22 year old!!... n what does that make me feel???... nothing!... absolutely nothing!!...

Oh, if it serves as any source of excitement, I found out today that I have a relative named 'Pancreas'!!!... now what kind of parents would name their kids PANCREAS???... I can totally understand 'Neil Armstrong', 'Lawrence Kuppasamy' and so much more... but PANCREAS???!!!!... so, what if this guy ends up getting Pancreatic Cancer??... he tells people that he's got a cancer named after him???... how much more stupid can things get????...

For the past few months, I had been going through a streak of good movies when suddenly, out of nowhere, my friend came up and suggested I DON'T watch 'Slayers' aka 'Gamer' (see.. the psychology behind telling someone not to do something is very weird... when you tell someone NOT to do something, chances are very high that the curiosity levels of that person are likely to shoot up... he would definitely want to find out the reason behind the negation... (bah... sometimes I have no idea what I'm talking about, do I...))... there was this one point of time when almost every third movie that came out suggested that you never go on a picnic beyond city limits... because once you crossed city limits, there was a 95% chance that you may either run out of fuel, or get a flat tyre, or get an engine breakdown... and there was also a 90% chance that two of the people in your entourage are sex maniacs (we're talking heterosexual here) who can't leave each other's company... once these criteria are passed, there's a 100% chance that you're going to get attacked by zombies who eat everyone except for the main character and his gurl... this was the state of movies till five years ago... but after that came the "we're-warning-you-about-the-future" genre... where robots/AI take over and people have to simply sit at home, eat McDonalds and grow fat, while their robotic equivalents do their job... and that's what Gamer was all about... well almost... it may have been a wee little more, but I'm not interested in explaining...

Ahhh X'mas' coming up... time again for those fake Santas with those ugly paper masks... I hate the way 'Jingle Bells' is sung in Kerala... it goes somewhat like this... "Jingle Jingle Bells, Uncle Santa Claus, Come Come Come..."... I don't know the remaining... all I know is it's annoying...

I'm not in the greatest of moods today... pretty mind-fugged.....

Freedom-di-di-dumb

Gabbar used to be a resident of Unfree Village... now, the specialty of Unfree Village was that job opportunities was zilch... so every man was a thief... small boys were trained to become professional thieves when they grew up... getting caught and going to prison was part of the job nature...

And Gabbar got caught too... he was placed in a tiny prison cell - barely enough place for a bed, a table and a commode... but life was kinda good... the food was excellent - he didn't have to steal to earn it... however, two years later, the prison management changed hands... the new management wanted to give the inmates more 'freedom'... so they shifted all of them to new cells... these cells were much bigger than the previous ones... but, there was no bed, no commode, and no good food... the inmates had to sleep on the floor, they could shit and piss anywhere they liked in the cell, and the only food they got was the remains of what the prison officials had eaten...

And the new management called this 'freedom'... some people liked it because they were allowed to do whatever they liked as long as they remained in their cells, while others despised it because life had become a ball of crap, and the new management was simply terrible at management...

This... is independence in India... Happy Independence Day to all fellow Indians!!...

What are we really independent from??!!... God alone knows... at least if the Brits were still here, we would have had more Pizza Huts, McDonalds' and KFC's everywhere!!... and we would have had Brit gurls in college!... that way we wouldn't have to put up with the attitudes of the plain-looking local girls!!...

Anyways, that reminds me, i was at Chicking yesterday... yes... i keep going back to these places inspite of them having fooled me a zillion times... i guess i simply have no other choice!!... i was going through the menu, and suddenly i came across this offer... yeah... yet another offer!!!... this time it was called the 'NRI Fest'... i didn't really get the whole idea behind the thing... there's this regular chicken bucket that costs around 400 bucks normally... in the 'NRI Fest' package, all they did was throw in a box of fries and a PET Coke, with the chicken bucket, and lo!... it's 750 bucks!!!... either they think NRI's are dumb (which seems like the more likelier case), or they think all NRI's own Cadillacs, and three-storeyed houses with jacuzzis and a separate room for the home theatre, and a couple of poodles!!...

Phew... Onam's just a week away!!... (wooo!... time's surely passing real fast... i still remember last year's sadhya)... sometimes i wonder whether Mahabalipuram was named after Mahabali... hmmm... nahhhh.... that couldn't be... the tamils would never be so generous enough to name a whole place after a non-tamil... that too, a MALLU!!!!!!!!... oh these tamils!... they surely do have the knack of making a mallu feel out of place... sigh... the woes of a mallu should-have-been-engineer-but-became-writer-thanks-to-a-wicked-twist-of-destiny...

Speaking of 'should-have-been-an-engineer', there was this time when the TV at home began making weird noises at the back, but the picture was just fine... my mom kept pestering me to check what was wrong... i asked her to wait till the picture went out... the pestering grew even more pestering, till i finally got up to check what was wrong... but at the back of the TV, there was this sign that read "This cover should be removed by experienced professionals only"... since i wasn't experienced or professional, i went back to my seat... my mom got utterly butterly pissed off and screamed, "What kind of an engineer are you? Simply wasting 4 years!"... come to think about it, why this injustice only towards engineers??... by the time we complete 4 years of engineering, we're supposed to know how to repair a television, a car, the local substation, a space craft, a time machine, and a satellite flying in space!... why is it that people don't ask a medical grad to perform a heart surgery or a liver transplant at home???... why only us?????...

(Ok, i guess i'm getting addicted to Facebook as well... almost every second post in this blog has something about Facebook!) There's this recent annoying habit few of my friends have gotten into... they blog about some crap (called 'Notes' in FB lingo) and then they go about tagging each and every one in their friends list to the blog... and then, idiots like me go through the entire crap, hoping to find our names mentioned somewhere in the blog... very clever!... that's made all the idiots in their friends list go through the entire nonsense they've written... wish these 'clever' people would use their brains for the development of the country!!... now that it's independence day...

I can't wait for BSNL to launch their 3G and 4G services... as Deepika Padukone says, i'm expecting it to improve my life and make it more exciting!!... ah... life's really gonna turn exciting when i turn 30... i've promised four friends that i'll be going on an all-India roadtrip with them (individually!) as soon as i turn 30... haha!!... should be fun... as long as the world doesn't end by 2012!!!...

PS: i hate the fact that Blogger doesn't have the autocorrect feature...

ciao!

Mmmmmm.... Movies, Mall, Maal & getting Mauled

Ahaaa... the past one week has been one of the best in this year, so far!!... breakthroughs almost happening, getting close but not close enough to good things (which is pretty good enough in this era of recession and my life of depression... ugh!)...

Movies... two of them... the crappy one first... Raavanan (please note... it's 'Raavan' with an 'an'... so, dummies who didn't realise, we're looking at the tamil version here...)... when i saw the posters of the movie stuck all over kerala and chennai, more in kerala though (i remember mentioning about it once before... mallus are more crazy about tamil movies than mallu ones, and are crazier than the pandis are about tamil movies...), seeing Ash's tranced look and Vikram's dark persona made me think Vikram was a mafia druglord, and Ash their guinea pig... i was pleasantly surprised/menacingly shocked when it didn't actually turn out that way... anyways, when i first saw Vikram jump into the river, it gave me the hopes that there might be something in the movie after all, something better than mere 'drug-dealing'... but then, half an hour later, Ash jumped into the same river too (only thing dumb female didn't realise there was a tree in between)... and with that, the movie went down the drain too... the second half was all about 'I-kidnapped-you-because-...' and 'you-kidnapped-me-so-now-you-get-to-keep-me'... towards the end of the movie, the director got confused, and left us even more clueless... the only good feeling i had at the end of the movie was that i'd watched the tamil version first... they say the hindi version's even more pathetic... (have to add that Vikram's 'Dhakinakakakaka' vaguely reminded me of Rajnikanth's 'Lakalakalakalakalaka' !!!!....)

Movie number two was 'I Hate Luv Storys'... it's not very often that i get to watch movies in which i like the hero as well as the heroine... though the movie was a bit of an overdosage (the guy thinks love stories are fake and then the female thinks so too, the female goes to the airport and then the guy too, female goes to premier and so does the guy... ugh!... draggyyyyyyyyyy!...), in the end, it didn't end up being just another pile of trash... feel-good factor: definitely the soundtrack!!...

Last weekend, i was in chennai... and for the first time i visited Express Avenue, chennai's next big thing (quiet literally)... and then, today i was walking along MG Road here in cochin... and i figured out a connection between Spencer's Plaza, Express Avenue (both in chennai) and MG Road, cochin... MG Road is like half of a single phase of Spencer's Plaza rolled out onto a boulevard... and Express Avenue is like a bloated up version of Spencer's... voila!!... (okay okay... it was a little hot in the afternoon, and my thinking was getting a little hazy...)

Okay... 'Maal' and 'getting Mauled'... i seriously have no idea why i put that up in the title... i've been having this recent obsession with alphabets (err... isn't that what we call 'literacy'?!... or is it not?!...), so i thought 'maal' and 'mauled' would go with the flow... i remember, those biharis guys (in college) used to refer to chicks as 'maal'... the tamils used to refer to them as 'sarak'... and the mallus, 'charak'... it seriously doesn't make much sense to me... when literally translated (for the sake of all my non-indian readers... ;)...), all the 'nicknames' mean something equivalent to 'luggage'... of course, we do refer to some features of the female anatomy as 'baggage', but calling the entire female 'luggage'... urrmmmmm...

And finally mauled... i got nothing to say about getting mauled... or perhaps the least i could say is that it would be nice if i went through a mass-mauling by a group of 'maals'... like in those Axe commercials... ciao... i'm off...

The Past 10 Days

Short Version : Wikipedia... Editorial day out... senior ISMer... house hunting... stupid girl & hot girl... Columbia Pictures... workkkkkk... drencheddddd...

Bet you've understood nothing from the 'short version'... so, here's the.......

DETAIL VERSION (!!!!) : i've been screwing my brain real hard and thinking about what it takes to be on wikipedia (even Sarah Jane Dias is on wiki!!.... she's my senior from school btw... every morning on my way to office, i stare at the huge hoarding with her heavenly face on it... truly a masterpiece!)... i've been seeing too much of wikipedia in the past 8-10 months, that i suddenly feel it's really cool to be featured in the site!

then there was the Editorial Board's day out... my teammates, their boyfriends and good ol' me! (don't ask me what was i doing there! it didn't seem this odd then!)... a quiet movie, preceded by nothing, and followed by nothing.... the movie - Kerala Cafe.... made somewhat on the lines of Dus Kahaniyan, with ten stories and stuff (of course, atleast 8 of the 10 movies were crap in the mallu one... haven't watched the hindi one)... oh, and add to it the joy of meeting a fellow ISMer! (one of Nixxx's friends is an ex-ISMer...).... sigh... i wonder what's going on at ISM these days (in case you're still wondering what ISM is, it's Indian School Muscat)... the last thing i heard about ISM was the "evolution" of the students there... it has become real cool (for the guys) to wear their pants below their knees, and wear bangles covering atleast half their forearm!! (i'd rather not talk about the girls!)... the limits of 'cool'-ness!!....

then there was the house-hunting session with dad... apparently the area i stay in looks like a garbage dumpyard to him... for the first time, he found the interior of my house MUCH better when compared to the exterior!

and finally(!), the (five-hour) bus ride to cochin from home... the stupid girl and the hot girl.... first the stupid girl... a particularly ugly female sitting diagonally in front of me, out of nowhere, suddenly opened up her laptop and started watching movies! (even though it was a perfectly normal thing for a human being to do, it sadly seemed out-of-place to me)... considering the aged men sitting around her, i came to the conclusion that she was trying to impress me... geeeeee... if in case she WAS trying to do so, the sad-ass movie she was watching, was definitely not one that could be used to impress a guy!!! (come to think about it, i wouldn't have been impressed even if she were watchin American Pie!!!)... then there's the hot girl, who was sitting in front of me (ha! she had no idea who was sitting behind her!!)... a striking contrast of the stupid girl... she had such a heavenly voice!! (she was flirting with her boyfriend over the phone almost throughout the journey... sigh....)... the hot girl, her voice and the air-conditioning was putting me in a really embarrassing situation!!...

over the weekend i've managed to make an astonishing discovery that could change the lives of millions across the globe!!... Columbia Pictures... the secret is finally out!!... pick up a movie made by Columbia Pictures... at the beginning of the movie, when they show the Columbia Pictures thingy, with the lady holding the lamp... watch closely next to her right arm... in the clouds, there's an impression of a chubby, sleeping man!!!... i bet none of you had noticed that before!!! (or am i the tubelight here???)

and at the end of it all, i'm back here in office, staring at the wall, visualising my pile of work that's left for me to do... hmmm... i wonder how depressing it would have been if we didn't have computers, and had to stare at actual pile of papers!

sigh.... the rains are back again... along with haunting memories... why?? why?? why?? why can't there ever be a rainless year in india? why can't it snow instead??....

gotta go...... sighhhh......

Last Days & First Days

Finally!! change has arrived... my last day at TIME, first day at Au Courant Publishers, and most importantly, the last day of the Crazy Bus Guy!...

It was definitely an emotional farewell yesterday at TIME... i got extremely emotional after my wallet got half emptied after my farewell treat... hehe!!!... anyways, it was time to say goodbye to TIME... (ok... that was lame!)... oh... TIME stands for Triumphant Institute of Management Education.. i don't know whether i should be calling the guy (who coined the abbreviation) a genius or a nuthead!! so... that's it about my time at TIME! (again... L.. A.. M.. E..!!!!)

Then, there's the Crazy Bus Guy... thankfully, i won't be seeing anymore of him... ok here's the story about the CBG... since my mom thinks that i'm crash-prone, she wouldn't let me take the car to classes... so i used to commute by the local blue buses... (blue is such a pleasant colour on the buses... i seriously have no idea why buses in TN are coloured an irritating green... but then, Tamlians never had any sense of colour... their favorite colour is fluorescent yellow!!!... one of the apartment buildings i stayed in (during college days), was fluorescent pink!!... i used to get blinded everytime i went home!!... another thing i've never been able to figure out is why, in the whole of kerala, only Cochin's buses are red... and that too, not a mellow, pleasant red, but a red colour similar to the colour of paan that has been chewed and spat!) (speaking of buses, Muscat used to have those massive air-conditioned beauties that used to run with a sound like wind blowing through trees... though i've never got into one.. in all those years!!!.... ha!!!.. who needs them anyways in Muscat, when every Tom, Dick and Harry owns a Hummer or atleast a Corolla!!!).. now, in front of my TIME coaching centre, there's a traffic signal... all i have to do is step out of my bus and walk a few yards to the building... but if the signal's green, it's a long way back!.. on my first day in the bus, as the bus was approaching the signal, i was about to get up and get out of the bus, when another guy jumped up from his seat and got to the floorboard before me and waited, under the sign that read (in bold) "DO NOT STAND ON THE FLOORBOARD", for the bus to stop. the bus stopped, and he got down... and just as i was about to get out, the signal turned green and the bus sped off... i cursed the guy, and was determined to beat the guy the next day... so the next day, i got up well before the signal, and stood on the floorboard under the sign that read, in bold, "DO NOT STAND ON THE FLOORBOARD"... (sigh... we indians nah... perhaps if the sign read "PLEASE STAND ON THE FLOORBOARD", no one would have bothered to go even close to the floorboard!!)... but it wasn't a "sunny" day for me that day... the signal was green and the bus didn't slow a bit... so, neither me nor the CBG got down... (the funny thing about bus drivers is that if they see someone trying to get down from a bus, they step on to the accelerator and speed up the bus as much as they possibly can... like as if they're trying to make the whole situation more thrilling... perhaps they enjoy watching a guy jump off the bus and run straight into a lamp post, or get run over by a car!!!...).... this went on for a couple of days... everyday i would reach the floorboard first, only to find out that the signal was green... around the tenth time or so, the CBG got to the floorboard much before i did, looked at me, said "why do you keep trying?!!", and gave me a look that was the equivalent of "if you dare to get out of the bus before me once more, i swear i'll be eating your intestines for dinner!!"... that's the Crazy Bus Guy for you!!!... i'm very much relieved that my intestines are still intact, and that i won't be seeing him again!!!

Monday's my first day at Au Courant Publishers.... hope everything goes smooth and fine!!....

Monsoon Blues

it's been a week since the end of the IPL frenzy... it's been pretty peaceful ever since!!... no more of weird accronyms like CSK, RCB, DD etc... no more of the very "smart and illustrious" Lalit Modi.... no more of the mediocre anchoring and 'Mandy'!!!.... and sadly no more of the hot cheergirls either.. (bah!)... anyways looks like it wont last much long, with the world cup coming up in less than a week!!!... cricket... cricket... cricket... so annoying!!...

hmmmm... looks like good ol' recessions hitting me pretty hard... even though i see "the" shimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, i'm taking real long to approach it... and thanks to my seizure last tuesday, i'm not even allowed to go anywhere beyond a 10km radius from my apartment!!!... so it's pretty much like a house arrest.... sigh... since i'm spending so much time at home, atleast its helped in finally making my bedroom look like a bedroom!!!.... till a month back, the only things in my entire bedroom was a bed and my mom's sewing machine (my mom's ultra modern sewing machine, mind you!!... not one of those black types, which those tailors use, with brand names like 'butterfly' or 'eagle' or the sorts... this one's got a sleazy black handheld electronic controller with a cluster of push buttons... k i guess that's enough about the sewing machine...)... my perfectionist mom wouldn't tolerate a drop of water on the floor, let alone a piece of paper!!... anyways, now that i've been spending 'quality' time at home, the floor is strewn with clothes, dirty floaters and shoes, then there's a lizard in the room and the sewing machine has now officially become my medicine rack... yeah.... there're loads of medicines... during monsoons, my immunity levels are usually at an all-time low.... oh!... something on the lighter side.... i was driving around today morning and i saw this very huge mongoose waiting to make a dash across the road... (let me remind you that it's always been a fascination for me to kill a cat by running over it with a car... though i've never got the opportunity to do so..)... so now here i was!!... with a ripe opportunity... even though it wern't a cat, a mongoose was a substitute good enough... however, the smart mongoose was already making smart plans... it'd figured that, at the speed i was driving, it'd have enough time to clear the road and wave back at me... poor thing!!... it jumped!!... and i jumped onto the accelerator!!.... CRUNCHCHCHCHCH!!!!.... the head was flatter than my mom's chapattis and was pasted to the ground... i slowed the car and watched the action through the rear view mirror... the mongoose's remaining body was twisting and turning rapidly (in pain, i guess! lol!!)... anyways, that's the story about the ill-fated mongoose... oh... recently i was reading this book by an indian author... it kinda made me wonder... almost all low key celebrities (those who're less gossipped about) usually are stuck in a job that todally sux... and their bosses are total whackos, who need their heads to be chopped off!!!.... and these celebs usually have a weird nickname for the boss... (in this case it was 'Shruti the Horrible'... ok no prizes for guessing the name of the book!).... since everyone's doing so, even ive decided to follow suit... (i like to consider myself a celebrity 'cos, for one, i'm bad at handling relationships, and two 'cos ive been on TV twice... the first time was in my first year during our college's strike... a large number of us were moving out of the college as a group, and a reporter was interviewing two of my friends in the front... and i was frantically jumping up and down and waving at the camera from the back... thus i made my TV debut on CNN-IBN.... the second time was in my 3rd year, i think... VG and i had gone for a play... and after the play, SS music was taking a video of the crowd gathered outside.... and i managed to make a 1.2 second cameo.... even though offers have been pouring in after that for TV appearances, due to my busy schedule, i haven't been able to accept any...)... since currently i'm jobless and don't have a boss, ive decided to name my ex-boss... the boss, who was my boss for a single working day, the next non-working day (i took leave that day), and the next half day i got fired... so two and a quarter days to be precise... hmmm... his name was Doug... it used to be funny the way pandis used to pronounce his name!!... 'Duck-uh' was how they did it!!... bah... these pandis!... anyways, abt the name for Doug.... hmmm... i guess Doug the Bug should do... haha!!!... weird!!!.... (hehe... Doug was a nice guy actually.... sad he didn't approve much of my blogging 'skills'...)

oh... i was walking down the streets today and i saw this poster of a new malbari movie... looks like 'Mollywood' is trying to cash in on the Slumdog Millionaire success.... i can't recollect the name of the movie, but i can clearly remember the catch phrase of the movie - "Story of a dog and a millionaire"... gawd!!!... these mallus!!....

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phew!... i just got through with a very entertaining session in church!!... (the sunday service actually)... back in college, attending church use to be a 'once-in-6-months' affair... now thanks to my mother's persistence, i attend church every weekend!!... anyways, the church has certainly evolved and become more fun over the years... back in the 90s, going to church only meant sitting, standing, kneeling and lip-synching... but these days, a lot of fun activities are also included during mass... one of the more popular games is 'Locate Your Parent'... but this one's strictly for kids below age 3... but if your kid's retarded, a special consideration is given upto 5years of age... the rules of the game are pretty simple... the kid has to first decide which parent he wants to stick to (in india, men and women are made to sit separately.. even if the woman is the guy's wife/mother/sister/aunty/gramma/mistress)... then the kid has to memorise the exact location of its parent... the kid then has to run around all over the church... as fast as it can... extra points are earned for beating up other kids, stepping on others' feet and walking through pews... after a minute or two, the real fun starts.... the kid has to retrace its way back to its parent... a time limit of 10mins is set... if the kid doesn't locate its parent by then, it loses the game and it has to stop and scream at the top of its lungs till its parents begin to flush with embarrassment... for those people without kids and over 15yrs of age and not retarded, the best way to keep you occupied is to take out your mobile and browse or play games on it... but this is absolutely not suited for people (like me) with 'uninteresting' fones (like mine) with games like snake, tetris etc... the third and most popular activity, suited for people like me (categorised 'cos of my fone) and old age people, is to go to sleep!!.... but you should be alert enough to stand and kneel at the right times... and it can be really embarrassing if you begin drooling on your shirt, let alone the shirt of the person sitting next to you!!...

come to think about it, these activities are allowed only in indian churches.... back in muscat, there used to be enough number of 'scantily-clad' chicks to keep us distracted... (sometimes when you think about it, it's funny how almost all the guys in my school were perverts, even the toppers!!!... but then... look at what fine gentlemen we turn out to be!!!... we owe ISM big time!!!...).... but the disadvantage is that it can be a real embarrassment if you're seated with your parents... and more so if the chick is your friend!!!!.... lol!!!.....

Peace Out!!!!!!

Comfortably Numb

woooooooo!!!!!!.... i managed to pull off a predy decent surprise for my parents' weddin anniversary... although i ended up eating most of the cake lol!!!.... thanks to my sis' new braces!!!... jeez!!... i was totally shocked when i saw her with the thing on her teeth!!!!..... yeeeeeessshhhhh!!!!.... ah.... even i used to hav a set of those horrid things on my teeth back in school!!!!.... ah anyways.... oooooooo..... valentine's day's coming uppppp!!!!!.... oh!... before i forget!!!!... gotta put up some cheesy status message on facebook!!!.... just to make ppl think that i'm cuddling up with some chick on val's day, while in reality i'll have to sit at home and do nothing!!....

ah... wonder when my switzerland trip is gonna work out.... i really want to get there before i get old.... sigh.... the stupid project!!!..... i hate the bullcrappy garbage!!!.... hafta travel all the way to my stupid college!... jeezzzz!!!.... i've been spendin half my allowance on travellin to college!!!.... friggin' 2hrs of travel!!!.... wut the.....!!!!!..... ha!!!... that reminds me of this particularly annoying mallu habit.... there are these mallus who would have been to chennai maybe once or twice, and that too decades ago!!!.... and then they act smart and ask questions about the location of the place i stay and my college.... a typical convo would go like this....
MALLU: evideya college???.... (where's your college???)
ME: OMR
M: adhu evideya???.... (where's that???)
M: IT Highway
M: adhu evideya???.... (where's that???)
M: on the way to mahabalipuram
M: adhu evideya???....

ha!!!... and it keeps goin on and on!!!.... mallus!!!!.... guess i need one more of those cheesecakes to cool me off..... gawd!!!!... THE CHEESECAKES!!!!.... it's the most evil invention by mankind!!!!.... my oh my!!!.... they're little drops of heaven!!!!... the way it jus melts in your mouth!!!... if i were to choose between a chick and a cheesecake, i'd definitely go fer the cheesecake!!!!.... or.. no!!!... wait a minute!!.... i'll actually go for the chick!!!... but if i were given an option between an ugly chick and a cheesecake, it's the cheesecake, hands down!!.... ah... need to get to one of those cheesecakes asap!!!.... wonder when i get to raid Cake Walk next!!!.... sheeeeesh!!!!.... i'm running ouda time!!!..... project work.... need to go velly sumtime nxt week.... Broadspire.... have to get back home before dad leaves.... have to go suratkal.... jeezzzz!!!!.... when am i gonna do all this???!!!!...

oh... off late, some people've started thinking i'm a devil worshipper!!!... like duh!!... and i play along and tell them stories too.... wanna know how you pray to the devil??... it's pretty intresting.... first off, you must have an empty room with absolutely nothing but a chair in it... on the chair, you must place an image of the devil... now don't be an ass and ask me where to find an image of the devil!!!... download it from google, or draw it urself!!... now place the image on the chair... then take an apple... place the apple on your head, and go around the chair ten times... if the apple falls at any time, you must start all over again... go ahead and try it out!... lol!...

bah... guess i'll be meeting all those nutheads from my place, at the church festival... i get so irritated whenever i talk to those idiots... can never mind their own godaim business!!!... i'm already bugged 'cos i'm late fer THE party with ajo, for getting don e with all exams... yeah!!!... both of us are friggin engineers in a few weeks!!!... ha! anyways... we only need a reason to party!...

oh btw... grandpa finally invited me over to his secret hideout in chennai couple of days back.... was fun... we had the "mature" family talk and stuff.... jus the two of us... and he thought i looked like a total 'kuttappan' 'cos i was clean shaved after a very very long time!!!!... it excited him so much that he picked up the fone and called granny, who was all the way back in kerla!!!.... just to tell her that i shaved!!!.... like duh!!!.... ah... old people these days!!...

oh btw!!!... guess whom i ran into today at the burger place!!!.... ashwathy!!!... ha!!!.... anyways... i'm off.... ciao!!!... and happy valentine's day people!!!!.....