Zoom, Zoom, Zooooommmmm!!!.....

Ahhhhhhhhhh.... the end of yet another year!!!!... everything in December flashes by so fast... first it was the birthday... and then, X'mas... and now New Year (though technically speaking, New Year is a part of Jan, I like to consider it as part of Dec)...

It does feel kinda great to know that I've already lived through three decades - the 80s, 90s and the noughties... and now, it's the fourth decade... after having achieved such a remarkable milestone, what does it make me feel??... nothing!... absolutely nothing!!...

Ahhh... i got my office New Year party coming up... having known myself for the past 23 years, I'm expecting it to be a total disaster on my part... oh btw!!!... I happened to run into one of the ISM friends here in Cochin!... one of my friend's friend actually... and not exactly 'ran into'... but that's the term I'd prefer to use when I meet someone out of the blue after more than half a decade!!... apparently, the person's been working in the same city as mine for the past 1.5 years!!... talk about weird-ass coincidences... you're in the same city for almost two years, and then suddenly one day you find out that your friend's friend is in the same city too!!!... real kick-ass weird!!!...

Whoops gotta go!!... it's past midnight... gotta make it to the cab on time tomorrow... this week has been totally reminiscent of college days.... those days when I used to run behind the bus, miss it, get back home and go back to sleep... except that I don't come back and sleep anymore... can't afford to do that now, lol!...

Happy Bday RJR!!!

...And so it is... my last few hours as a 22 year old!!... n what does that make me feel???... nothing!... absolutely nothing!!...

Oh, if it serves as any source of excitement, I found out today that I have a relative named 'Pancreas'!!!... now what kind of parents would name their kids PANCREAS???... I can totally understand 'Neil Armstrong', 'Lawrence Kuppasamy' and so much more... but PANCREAS???!!!!... so, what if this guy ends up getting Pancreatic Cancer??... he tells people that he's got a cancer named after him???... how much more stupid can things get????...

For the past few months, I had been going through a streak of good movies when suddenly, out of nowhere, my friend came up and suggested I DON'T watch 'Slayers' aka 'Gamer' (see.. the psychology behind telling someone not to do something is very weird... when you tell someone NOT to do something, chances are very high that the curiosity levels of that person are likely to shoot up... he would definitely want to find out the reason behind the negation... (bah... sometimes I have no idea what I'm talking about, do I...))... there was this one point of time when almost every third movie that came out suggested that you never go on a picnic beyond city limits... because once you crossed city limits, there was a 95% chance that you may either run out of fuel, or get a flat tyre, or get an engine breakdown... and there was also a 90% chance that two of the people in your entourage are sex maniacs (we're talking heterosexual here) who can't leave each other's company... once these criteria are passed, there's a 100% chance that you're going to get attacked by zombies who eat everyone except for the main character and his gurl... this was the state of movies till five years ago... but after that came the "we're-warning-you-about-the-future" genre... where robots/AI take over and people have to simply sit at home, eat McDonalds and grow fat, while their robotic equivalents do their job... and that's what Gamer was all about... well almost... it may have been a wee little more, but I'm not interested in explaining...

Ahhh X'mas' coming up... time again for those fake Santas with those ugly paper masks... I hate the way 'Jingle Bells' is sung in Kerala... it goes somewhat like this... "Jingle Jingle Bells, Uncle Santa Claus, Come Come Come..."... I don't know the remaining... all I know is it's annoying...

I'm not in the greatest of moods today... pretty mind-fugged.....

Girl By The Window

A tattered and torn Good News scripture she held
a subtle smile for the biggest jokes the priest cracked
so near yet so far
I never believed a woman could be so perfectly packed


Right from day 1, I knew she were different
one of those species who'd landed from the 'Gelf'
day 2, day 3, days kept passing by
'Tomorrow's the day' I kept telling myself


Alas, I lost count of the days gone by
it was getting weirder and weirder
till finally the day came when I had to say g'bye
n' I said to myself, 'I still didn't meet her'


Just as I headed for the door
I happened to notice a glance
too late i noticed it was
I should have made good when I still had the chance


'N now, we're two worlds apart
don't know whether I'm gonna see her again
so near yet so far
the only satisfaction is that I'm filled with no pain

N Off We Went Sailing!!!...

The good part about this boat trip was that it wasn't planned way much in advance, that I had to start counting down the days, and by the time the date arrived I would be flat broke, and borrow money from everyone possible and then go on the trip... or wait a minute!... i was broke when i went for the trip!... :P

That was the six of us who went on the trip... since we haven't been seeing much of these people in this blog yet, I'll intro them... Vrinda, Vijay, me, Domnic, Shainu and Laseelan... they are the Cochin Division of my friends network... i like to divide my friends network into the Cochin Division, BFAM Division, B'lore Division, Chowder Division, The Old Men Division and Rest Of The World Division...

It was pretty obvious that I couldn't hide my excitement...

That was from Allepey Beach... though the weather looks pretty pleasant in the pic, it was quiet hot...

Since we hadn't found out yet that we were at the wrong place, we were under the impression that we were early for the boat... so we got around clicking random pics...

While we were busy posing, we forgot to notice what the gurls were up to... and before we knew it...

falling...

and finally...

Once we had had enough, we left for the boat jetty, only to realise that we were at the wrong boarding place when we reached...

An hour later, we finally reached the boat...

Though that's not exactly our boat, ours looked quiet like that... it was only after we got into the boat that we realised that we had forgotten to click the boat's pic... we decided that the nearby boat's pic would suffice...

Inside the boat was fun...

and the view was 'calm and relaxing'... maybe if I were from some other part of India or some other country, I would have used 'breath-taking'...

In the evening, there was the 'fun activities' and then the sleeping (which I guess everyone does, even if they're not on a boat!)...

The next day, we were all set and ready to go... back home...

That's us with the entire boat crew...

It was fun on the whole, and was a much-needed break from all the work I've been doing (and not doing) and the disappointments... I could use ones like these pretty often!!!...

PS: I went fishing too!!!!...

A Year Gone By...

It's been a year...

3am!!...

Gahhhh... I hate it when I'm awake at 3... be it pm or am... anytime of the day... doesn't matter... I remember seeing in some movie ages ago, that the time stands still at 3am... and evil spirits step out and start dancing around... (which is totally possible at the place I'm staying (ajo's place, Chennai))... it's funny how my sleep at the "3's" have come down... in school, I used to be asleep at both the 3's... 3am and pm... 'am' obviously everyone is asleep... 'pm' was the tiny ten-minute nap I used to get in between swallowing my lunch and tuitions... and then, in college one of the 3's was cut down... at 3am, I used to be busy playing FIFA!!... of all the things!... at 3pm, however, I used to be very much asleep in my college bus, on my way back home... and now, I'm awake at both the 3's... 3pm I'm at work (can't sleep there)... 3am, I'm still up... gahhhh...

Something's real funny... I started typing this post ten minutes ago... at 3am... and... the time is still 3am!!... uh-oh... what's that noise??... oh my gawd!!... aaaahhhhh.... helppppp!!!!.... somebodyyyy!!!.... aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh...................................................................

Freedom-di-di-dumb

Gabbar used to be a resident of Unfree Village... now, the specialty of Unfree Village was that job opportunities was zilch... so every man was a thief... small boys were trained to become professional thieves when they grew up... getting caught and going to prison was part of the job nature...

And Gabbar got caught too... he was placed in a tiny prison cell - barely enough place for a bed, a table and a commode... but life was kinda good... the food was excellent - he didn't have to steal to earn it... however, two years later, the prison management changed hands... the new management wanted to give the inmates more 'freedom'... so they shifted all of them to new cells... these cells were much bigger than the previous ones... but, there was no bed, no commode, and no good food... the inmates had to sleep on the floor, they could shit and piss anywhere they liked in the cell, and the only food they got was the remains of what the prison officials had eaten...

And the new management called this 'freedom'... some people liked it because they were allowed to do whatever they liked as long as they remained in their cells, while others despised it because life had become a ball of crap, and the new management was simply terrible at management...

This... is independence in India... Happy Independence Day to all fellow Indians!!...

What are we really independent from??!!... God alone knows... at least if the Brits were still here, we would have had more Pizza Huts, McDonalds' and KFC's everywhere!!... and we would have had Brit gurls in college!... that way we wouldn't have to put up with the attitudes of the plain-looking local girls!!...

Anyways, that reminds me, i was at Chicking yesterday... yes... i keep going back to these places inspite of them having fooled me a zillion times... i guess i simply have no other choice!!... i was going through the menu, and suddenly i came across this offer... yeah... yet another offer!!!... this time it was called the 'NRI Fest'... i didn't really get the whole idea behind the thing... there's this regular chicken bucket that costs around 400 bucks normally... in the 'NRI Fest' package, all they did was throw in a box of fries and a PET Coke, with the chicken bucket, and lo!... it's 750 bucks!!!... either they think NRI's are dumb (which seems like the more likelier case), or they think all NRI's own Cadillacs, and three-storeyed houses with jacuzzis and a separate room for the home theatre, and a couple of poodles!!...

Phew... Onam's just a week away!!... (wooo!... time's surely passing real fast... i still remember last year's sadhya)... sometimes i wonder whether Mahabalipuram was named after Mahabali... hmmm... nahhhh.... that couldn't be... the tamils would never be so generous enough to name a whole place after a non-tamil... that too, a MALLU!!!!!!!!... oh these tamils!... they surely do have the knack of making a mallu feel out of place... sigh... the woes of a mallu should-have-been-engineer-but-became-writer-thanks-to-a-wicked-twist-of-destiny...

Speaking of 'should-have-been-an-engineer', there was this time when the TV at home began making weird noises at the back, but the picture was just fine... my mom kept pestering me to check what was wrong... i asked her to wait till the picture went out... the pestering grew even more pestering, till i finally got up to check what was wrong... but at the back of the TV, there was this sign that read "This cover should be removed by experienced professionals only"... since i wasn't experienced or professional, i went back to my seat... my mom got utterly butterly pissed off and screamed, "What kind of an engineer are you? Simply wasting 4 years!"... come to think about it, why this injustice only towards engineers??... by the time we complete 4 years of engineering, we're supposed to know how to repair a television, a car, the local substation, a space craft, a time machine, and a satellite flying in space!... why is it that people don't ask a medical grad to perform a heart surgery or a liver transplant at home???... why only us?????...

(Ok, i guess i'm getting addicted to Facebook as well... almost every second post in this blog has something about Facebook!) There's this recent annoying habit few of my friends have gotten into... they blog about some crap (called 'Notes' in FB lingo) and then they go about tagging each and every one in their friends list to the blog... and then, idiots like me go through the entire crap, hoping to find our names mentioned somewhere in the blog... very clever!... that's made all the idiots in their friends list go through the entire nonsense they've written... wish these 'clever' people would use their brains for the development of the country!!... now that it's independence day...

I can't wait for BSNL to launch their 3G and 4G services... as Deepika Padukone says, i'm expecting it to improve my life and make it more exciting!!... ah... life's really gonna turn exciting when i turn 30... i've promised four friends that i'll be going on an all-India roadtrip with them (individually!) as soon as i turn 30... haha!!... should be fun... as long as the world doesn't end by 2012!!!...

PS: i hate the fact that Blogger doesn't have the autocorrect feature...

ciao!

July - Over and Out!

So finally July is drawing to a grand close as well!!... right from the month of April, i've been hoping that the following month would be interesting... and this time too, i'm hoping for the same... this month has been quiet an eventful month though... firstly, the FIFA WC is finally over... and with that, at least 30 of my 200-something friends on Facebook have nothing more to talk about for the next four years!!... no more of the infamous OctoPaul or the 'listen-to-it-more-than-5times-n-ur-sure-to-get-irritated' Waka Waka (i hate to admit it, but my alarm tone is the 'Waka Waka'... my policy is that irritating music in the morning tends to wake you up much faster)... i had supported many teams this time round, and watched them fall one by one as well... Italy, England, Brazil... all of them... and finally, the Oranje... Now that the Commonwealth Games are coming up, i hope the indians don't come up with the indian version of OctoPaul to predict who's going to win what medal!!...

Then, there was the Editorial day out at The Park last week... the only thing that amused me during the entire course of the event was the menu... i wasn't really doing a good job of holding myself back from cracking up when i saw 'Chowder' listed under the soup section... Chowder and soups... haha!!!...

Has it ever occurred to you that Gmail constantly monitors your mails??!!!... yes, they do!!!... that's what i think... there was this instance when my colleague sent me an article about Viagra for editing (i work in a health mag... we come across a lot of such stuff very often...)... and then, for the next few days, i constantly began getting advertisements regarding Viagra brands!!... anyways, off late, Gmail has been monitoring all my 'flirtatious' moves and has now begun sending me marriage proposals from girls across the country... yeah, on an average, i receive about 3-4 proposals in a day!!...

There used to be a time when back in school, sometime around the tenth or eleventh grade, almost 70% of the people in my school were die-hard fans of Linkin Park...  i have no idea why... i used to like Limp Bizkit more... again, i have no idea why!... i guess i was just sick of the way the guys @ Linkin Park act cooler than they are supposed to be... Mike Shinoda the 'Sober Guy'... Chester the 'Genius who can Scream'... the turntable guy who was the 'Asian Dumb Vegetable' (talking about Asians... i was talking to my friend who recently migrated to the UK... and i asked him whether he'd made any indian friends yet... and he replied saying that he was yet to make indian friends, but had already made quiet a lot of Asian friends... i've always wondered why non-Asians consider only people with slanting eyes as Asians... we indians are Asians too, damnit!)... and while we're at it, here's a video for all you Linkin Park fans out there!!!.... yenjaayyy!!...



and... here's another one!!!... lol...



Sheeeeesh!... that's it for now... August is coming up... a lot to look forward to... i hope i get lucky this month... my luck and intelligence have always been two quantities that are inversely proportional to each other... right now, at this point of time, my intelligence levels are at a decent high, which is why i am going through a bad patch, thanks to my bad luck... thus, the least i can say is, i'm hoping i get back to being stupid again pretty soon!!!... lol... ciao!!!...

Oh... and amidst all the excitement, i managed to bump in to Mr. Sunny Thomas as well... seeing him brought back all the memories of all the "hunndra parcent suare" questions that we used to have in our math papers!... ciao again!...

Mmmmmm.... Movies, Mall, Maal & getting Mauled

Ahaaa... the past one week has been one of the best in this year, so far!!... breakthroughs almost happening, getting close but not close enough to good things (which is pretty good enough in this era of recession and my life of depression... ugh!)...

Movies... two of them... the crappy one first... Raavanan (please note... it's 'Raavan' with an 'an'... so, dummies who didn't realise, we're looking at the tamil version here...)... when i saw the posters of the movie stuck all over kerala and chennai, more in kerala though (i remember mentioning about it once before... mallus are more crazy about tamil movies than mallu ones, and are crazier than the pandis are about tamil movies...), seeing Ash's tranced look and Vikram's dark persona made me think Vikram was a mafia druglord, and Ash their guinea pig... i was pleasantly surprised/menacingly shocked when it didn't actually turn out that way... anyways, when i first saw Vikram jump into the river, it gave me the hopes that there might be something in the movie after all, something better than mere 'drug-dealing'... but then, half an hour later, Ash jumped into the same river too (only thing dumb female didn't realise there was a tree in between)... and with that, the movie went down the drain too... the second half was all about 'I-kidnapped-you-because-...' and 'you-kidnapped-me-so-now-you-get-to-keep-me'... towards the end of the movie, the director got confused, and left us even more clueless... the only good feeling i had at the end of the movie was that i'd watched the tamil version first... they say the hindi version's even more pathetic... (have to add that Vikram's 'Dhakinakakakaka' vaguely reminded me of Rajnikanth's 'Lakalakalakalakalaka' !!!!....)

Movie number two was 'I Hate Luv Storys'... it's not very often that i get to watch movies in which i like the hero as well as the heroine... though the movie was a bit of an overdosage (the guy thinks love stories are fake and then the female thinks so too, the female goes to the airport and then the guy too, female goes to premier and so does the guy... ugh!... draggyyyyyyyyyy!...), in the end, it didn't end up being just another pile of trash... feel-good factor: definitely the soundtrack!!...

Last weekend, i was in chennai... and for the first time i visited Express Avenue, chennai's next big thing (quiet literally)... and then, today i was walking along MG Road here in cochin... and i figured out a connection between Spencer's Plaza, Express Avenue (both in chennai) and MG Road, cochin... MG Road is like half of a single phase of Spencer's Plaza rolled out onto a boulevard... and Express Avenue is like a bloated up version of Spencer's... voila!!... (okay okay... it was a little hot in the afternoon, and my thinking was getting a little hazy...)

Okay... 'Maal' and 'getting Mauled'... i seriously have no idea why i put that up in the title... i've been having this recent obsession with alphabets (err... isn't that what we call 'literacy'?!... or is it not?!...), so i thought 'maal' and 'mauled' would go with the flow... i remember, those biharis guys (in college) used to refer to chicks as 'maal'... the tamils used to refer to them as 'sarak'... and the mallus, 'charak'... it seriously doesn't make much sense to me... when literally translated (for the sake of all my non-indian readers... ;)...), all the 'nicknames' mean something equivalent to 'luggage'... of course, we do refer to some features of the female anatomy as 'baggage', but calling the entire female 'luggage'... urrmmmmm...

And finally mauled... i got nothing to say about getting mauled... or perhaps the least i could say is that it would be nice if i went through a mass-mauling by a group of 'maals'... like in those Axe commercials... ciao... i'm off...

The Great Indian Bargain

Two reasons why the Indian sales department will never do well enough...
1> the 'take-it-or-leave-it' attitude...
2> creating special offers that never encourages a customer to come back...

Something that has always ('always' not as in throughout my life… hmmm… but yeah… somewhat close to that…) left me wondering is whether the Indian salesmen are the best, or the worst, in the world… now, salesman could be anybody… the guy at the car sales showroom… the guy serving you chicken at KFC (grrrr…)… or even the milkman who leaves a pack of milk outside your doorstep everyday (in India!)… they know it… we don’t… all Indian customers are stupid… no matter how much they manage to bargain and how much they know about the product… sales outlets come up with offers like ‘Buy 2 Get 1 Free’ or ‘Win a Trip to (blah blah)’ or ‘50% off’ and the customer gets easily suckered in… the offers look very attractive and decent on the outside… but a deeper look into it would reveal the cheap and dark side of the ‘offer’… think about it… you shop for 5000 bucks’ worth and then ask about the free trip to Sri Lanka, they tell you the offer is valid only on Tuesdays… you get into an Adidas showroom which offers you a 50% discount, but you can’t find a single item which comes with a 50% discount simply because they are short on stock of items which actually have the discount on them… the fault lies with the Indian customer… the ‘we-came-all-the-way-now-we-gotta-buy-something’ attitude… unless we learn to walk out of the store, if we don’t find what we’re looking for, things are never going to improve…

Bet you’re wondering why the utterly senseless post, out of the blue (??)!!! (not that all my other posts made much sense, but still…)… yep!... I got punk’d too!... as recently as yesterday… I was having a dull day (certainly not the first instance)… and was a little under the weather… weirdly, I felt having some chicken might make me feel better… and off I went to ChicKing… one of the many local equivalents of KFC… since I’d got an e-mail about the ‘offer’ two days back, I was very sure about what I wanted to buy… it was the ‘FIFA offer’ (FIFA offer… like duh!... in a country whose football team has never even qualified for the qualifiers!! (or have they??)… and that too in a state from where a certain ‘mentally challenged’ cricketer is the only person to make it to an international sports arena!)… you buy two wraps and you get two mini-burgers free… (perhaps I missed the ‘oh-here’s-another-FIFA-offer-dumass’ smirk on the face of the guy at the reception)… it was only when I reached home and opened my package that I realized the horrors of horrors!... the wrap was barely thicker than my middle finger… the burger was worse… at a distance of about 15cm, the brown-colored fillet seemed non-existent, and the brown color that I saw here and there made me think it was because the lettuce was wilting!!... sigh… yet another stupid Indian customer… sometimes I do think that Russell Peters was perhaps right (though I still maintain that he’s a ree-tarrrd) when he called Indians ‘Cheap Stinkin’ Bastards’…..

PS: for those who missed it, I've uploaded the Munnar video in the previous blog... since both Chowder and me have the reputation of not having a 'crystal-clear' speech, I've added subtitles as well!!!... how caring of me!!...

The Two Big R's

I guess by now we are familiar with the only two big R's that have any significance in this blog - Road trip and Random thoughts (!!!)...

Yep... road trip...  with Chowder...
My friendship with Chowder goes a long way back... close to fifteen years... back in the days when he was called Prijo... the days when we made the television for our annual science exhibition in the fifth grade, and watched the TV getting flung across the class (by Leena Rajiv, our social science teacher) two days before the exhibition!... sigh... those were some days...




Anyways, off we were.. to Munnar... in Chowder's brand new Fortuner...

The drive up was quiet steep, with Chowder expertly maneuvering the vehicle...

it does get pretty tiring after a while, one wrong move and you could end up falling off the cliff and tumbling down the hill (just as Ajo 'predicted')...

once we reached the top...

we went for a little mountain climbing...

...and then we got back to the hotel, and set about doing what we are good at!...

The weather was quiet pleasant... though it wasn't really good... guess Munnar isn't the right place to visit at this time of the year... but surprisingly, I began shivering at night... the temperature: 18 degrees!!!... i guess i'm getting a little too used to the average 40 degrees temperature, that anything below 20 degrees has the capability to freeze my ass!!!...

That's pretty much about it about the road trip... my ability to describe events has begun wearing off... that's why i don't remember much... and it's been ten days anyways!...






Now comes my favorite part of the blog!!!... the Random Stuff!!!... i love this section because whatever i write in here doesn't necessarily have to make any sense!... the name itself implies it's senseless!... bah...

• the other day i was talking to Ajo... oh i talk to him everyday!!... (we are that deprived of 'work and company'... or let me rephrase it... 'enjoyable work and enjoyable company'...)... and now, if talking to him at night weren't enough, he calls me during lunch as well!... he was telling me about his roommate... named 'Dhanpal' (which did get a certain close friend of ours very excited till Ajo began regretting telling the name!)... we were discussing the mindset of Tamil parents when they go in to name their kids... stark examples: Karuppusamy, Neil Armstrong (yeah!.. that was the name of a professor in my college!), Lingasamy and so on... but the name that did get us thinking was "Kuppasamy"... hell! that's equivalent to naming your kid "Shitlord"!!!... how cool is that?????!!!!!.... what do these people call their children at home??... "Kuppa" (Garbage!!!)????????.....

• on a weekend i was traveling from Trivandrum to Cochin... and there was this guy sitting next to me, who apparently had a very very strong head, literally!... the guy was sleeping the entire time, with his head resting on the bar behind the seat in front... every three minutes, due to inertia (bah! scientific ol' me!) he would slowly move backwards (in his sleep), and then, (due to Newton's some law of force/motion... ok ok... i'm not that smart!) he would come back to the bar with full force and.... THUDDDDDDD/CRUNCHCHCHCHCHCHHHHHHHHH!.... his head would crash on the bar... every time he did that, i expected his head to crack open, and his brain to start leaking out (due to some pre-conception, i consider the brain to be made of a slimey semi-solid material... such that, if a hole is made in the head, it would start leaking out)... but it didn't!!!... it did remind me of my own college days!!... back in those days, if i sat in a particular spot for more than two minutes, i'd immediately fall asleep (except at nights... when i could stay awake for all i wanted)... so the same used to happen in college buses as well... i used to fall asleep... and every three minutes, i'd be briefly woken up by a skull-cracking THUD (caused by my own head hitting against the bar)... perhaps that did contribute a little to my becoming retarded!... :P

• oh... another bus story.... again i was traveling from Trivandrum to Cochin (guess that's pretty much the only traveling i do these days!)... and i came across this lab, that tests your, errr, stuff... and right outside the lab, a board read, in bold, 

               "********** LABORATORY
                  WE TEST YOUR PHLEGM, STOOL, URINE, BLOOD"
  
i thought that was really, really gross to write something like that in a public place... won't people understand if they just mentioned that it were a testing lab????!!!!!!.......

anyways... i'm off for now... got a few good things lined up for me to happen... if those things don't happen, boy, "somebody gonna get a-hurt real bad!".... ciao!....

Defecative Thoughts

• The other day i was at work, sitting at my desk and blankly staring at the blank monitor, waiting for something brilliant to happen... unfortunately, nothing brilliant did happen... and that was when i decided that i had had enough with life... and decided to... download some jokes (and not kill myself! duh!)... just to make me feel better...20 jokes later, i went back to Google and searched for "funny jokes"...

• Ok... i'm taking a wild guess that 90% of you didn't get what i meant there... heh!... kinda reminds me of those Reader's Digest jokes... they have an entire page dedicated just for jokes... and none of them are funny... sometimes it gets real hard to even figure out what they meant!

• This is for drunkards... ever wondered how, when you are absolutely senselessly drunk, you have managed to switch off the light, and then, after fifteen minutes of sleep, you realize that you want to puke... and then... wonders of wonders... you can't find the light's switch... and you can't find your way to the loo in the dark either... and then there are a whole lot of possible consequences... 1. some smart people crawl all over the floor, and finally find their way to the loo... 2. you scramble all over the wall, and finally end up standing against the wall and sleeping off... 3. you quit trying and simply puke in the room itself... all over the walls, floor and the bed...

• After having watched four of his shows, i still can't figure out why people still continue watching the Russell Peters shows... it makes no sense... a third of the audience around the world who watch his videos are (i'm guessing) Indians... and he calls all Indians "Cheeky Stinkin' Bastards"... a third of his live audiences around the world are (again i'm taking a guess) Blacks... and he calls all Blacks "Black Motherf*****s"... duh!

• My close observations have led me to conclude that the most misspelt word in South India (i don't know about North India because i've never been to North India) would have to "Gobi Manchurian"... following are the common variants found here...
• Gobi Manjurien
• Kopi Menchurien
• Gopi Manchoorian
• Kobe Minchorian
• Kobi Manjoorian

• Oh!... i was in Pondicherry recently... and i happened to visit this place called Auroville... supposedly, this place symbolises peace and tranquillity... but then... the height of irony... the place was designed by an architect named Roger Anger!!...

• It's kinda hard to believe, but the name 'Gaylord' has been picking up pretty fast here... you see Gaylord Travels, Gaylord Garments, Gaylord Restaurant, Gaylord Time House... don't these people see what the name implies??... or are they trying to prove a point?????...

• I've always felt girls, no matter how hot and popular they are, who call each other 'babe', 'darling', 'gurl', 'sweety' etc. amongst their little 'girl gangs' go right on top of my loser ratings... jeezzz!!!.... they just have no lives!!!... pathetic!

• I was at a pretty famous church in Kerala a month ago... the kinda place where everything is quiet, and you see old females sitting here and there, murmuring prayers to themselves... and then... this Swedish couple enter the church (Swedish because i couldn't understand a word they were saying to each other... not that i would have understood if they were talking in French or Slovakian... but i prefer to stick with Swedish)... and they go right under the Crucifix and stare at it like they were seeing one for the first time... and then... the female draws out a camera and clicks a pic with the guy posing under the Crucifix... she even clicked a pic of the signboard under the Crucifix that read, in bold letters, "PHOTOGRAPHY STRICTLY PROHIBITED"... they went around the entire church clicking pictures... during her photography spree, she passed my mom who was sitting at the other end of the church... my mom, who normally scorns at all injustices in society, managed to greet the female with a faint smile... think about it... an Indian couple entering a church in Europe and clicking pics... for sure there would be someone who'd come up, throw the camera out and say "Get ouda here!... Now!!!"... Indians... sheeesh!!!...

• Ever wondered why it is "Good heavens no!" and "Hell yeah!"....???

• In any part of India, when there is a very big crowd outside a particular shop, it simply means that there is a television in that shop which is telecasting a live cricket match played by the Indian team... however... in Kerala, if you see a very huge crowd outside a particular shop, it simply means that the shop is a liquor store...

• I have never understood the point in holding these cross-city marathons for world peace, or for the world's heart patients, or AIDS patients and crap like that... do they think Bin Laden's gonna see the marathon and think "Oh crap... i shud never have taken down the WTC... i give up terrorism... i quit!"...????

This ad for Hero Honda keeps coming up on television... if there is anything such as a born loser, it is certainly that guy!!... and if there is a second place for being a born loser, that would have to go to the female!!... first of all, the guy travels halfway across the city just to say goodnight to a female who wears a curtain for pyjamas... in spite of having traveled halfway across the city, just to say goodnight to that loser female, the female doesn't let the guy sleep over and sends him back... and if that weren't enough, the guy comes back all the way a second time to reply to her!!!... whatever happened to men with balls!!!... sigh...

      

Rain Rain Go Away...

Two trips in two consecutive months??!!!... that's definitely not my style!... but then... shocking truth is... i just got back from a trip to Chennai today... but why Chennai??? why do i keep going back to Chennai? is it because, even though i openly proclaim my hate for the city, somewhere deep down inside some part of me is still attached to the place?!... oh hell!... who am i kidding!... it's only because it is the more cheaper and more familiar option than B'lore or Hyd'bad... yep... that's it!... that's precisely the reason... though Chennai being cheap might come as a surprise to many, i know better... i survived there for four years... there were times when my expenses would go down to as low as Rs. 3 a day... imagine how pissed i was with the Indian government when, thanks to inflation, they increased the price of Tiger biscuits from Rs. 3 to Rs. 4!!... sometimes when i were broke i used to wonder, what if i continue spending just the 3 bucks on the Tiger biscuits everyday throughout the month?!... that would give me a whopping 98% savings!!.. hehe... it was my broke ass state that used to make me think that way... i'm not so miserly in real life lol!...


Anyways, this time round too, the same feeling was back... the same shitty, cloudy feeling... makes you conscious of the fact that either you are gonna step into a pool of shit in real life, or the imaginary cloud of shit above you is gonna rain shit all over you!... as soon as you get out of the railway station and get into the subway to cross the road, everything rushes in... darkness... poverty... dirt... stench... and everything else dreadable... and there is the bus ride home... if you happen to get into one of those green colored buses, then God save your mortal soul!!... the driver drives like as if he hates the damn bus and is trying to pull out the gear stick!... i have always hated the green buses... there used to be times when i used to wait for almost more than half an hour, just hoping that a deluxe bus would come by!!!...


I guess i have given a good enough preview of Chennai to those who haven't visited the place and are planning to visit soon!... bah... speaking of Chennai... CSK.... aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh.... the stupid Mumbai Indians team... though i do not wish to waste my time commenting on the stupid match, i most certainly wish to express my disappointment... God how i hate Dhoni!... then on top of it, he becomes captain of CSK... and if that weren't enough, they win the tournament... gah... i guess it was a clear case of match-fixing... i had always suspected something foul going on in the IPL... some team goes on a winning spree throughout the tournament, and then, suddenly in the end, out of nowhere, some crap team comes in and wins the tournament... such a waste of time...


Ah... monsoon's setting in... darkness is filling up my world... my depression levels shoot up at an alarming rate... the world grows colder and colder... I HATE RAINS!!!!!!!!!....




PS.: I'm just kidding people... Chennai is fun if it ain't for the heat... and the humidity... and the pollution... and the noise... and the dirt... and just a few more things...!!!!

Now Thissss.... Definitely A Must-Watch!!!!

Banking On Change
by Pilgrim Films

Trip to PCB!

That's the entire Pondy-Chennai-Bengaluru trip in a nutshell...!... exciting... depressing... relaxing... pissing off... dangerous... tiring... memory-reviving (though i wouldn't exactly call it nostalgic... 'cos the whole thing didn't have much of a positive effect)... blah blah... 

Ten days was all it took... Chennai -- B'lore -- Chennai -- Pondy -- Chennai - and back home...

B'lore was ok... though nothing much can be said about the b'lore trip, meeting couple of school friends after around half a decade was pretty cool... otherwise ugly weather... couldn't go out much...

Chennai it was the four of us back again... the only difference being we were much richer and there was very little aimless wandering (since we were tight on schedule) this time round... but on the whole Chennai did seem pretty different... few dead people, many 'dead' people, and many people who think i am 'dead'... 

Then of course... there was the much-awaited visit to Cake Walk... a grab of one of those blueberry cheesecakes was all i needed to make myself feel right back at home...

Ajo did seem pretty charged up during the entire trip... this was on our way to Pondy... Pondy did seem like a tiny highlight in the whole trip... partly 'cos i was supposed to visit the place for some work, and i ended up doing everything else other than work!... the return trip was quiet adventurous... with Ajo getting tensed up every time we passed a police checkpost (since he was carrying the bag laden with "treasures from Pondy" if you know what i mean)... but we did manage to get back safe and in shape...

Now you know why Chennai's so dirty!!!....

And then... post partying with all the goodies from Pondy, we had the usual "Thrash-up-abhi" session... where we took turns in thrashing him... (he did thrash us back though... but i do not wish to make him look good by uploading the pics with us getting thrashed!!!... however... if you're really curious... i'll give you a preview.... that's Ajo getting thrown around (below)...)

Then there was the much-awaited Ajo's treat at B-B-Q Nation (did i just say treat???!!!!.... Mumbai's been really getting hard at Ajo off late!)... 

The grills were simply irresistible...

...that Nandu and Abhi could hardly wait!!!....

The dessert... equally delicious...

...that Nandu and Abhi could hardly resist!... Abhi started eating the spoon!!...

Ajo with his usual "wanna-get-beaten-up?" expression...

                                           

That's from our visit to Mocha Mojo... the pic in the middle was a result of our brilliant special effects....

Sai and Karthik popped in as well... my ex-roomies from college... was a pleasant surprise...

That was Abhi's perunal celebration pic... (i still haven't figured out what the right spelling of perunal is!)

And finally!!... THE roadtrip... 3 (jobless) men... out on a mission (to do nothing)... Chennai to Trichur...

...Nandu and me took turns driving...

...and Ajo tried his luck at getting us killed...

The long road ahead....

...break time...

KERALAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!......

...and finally... Nandu's place... Home Sweet Home!

The car locked up safe and sound...

On the whole, the trip was refreshing and fun... but... something did happen... something that has changed my life forever!